Kiss of Winter
by emiri-m.y
Summary: What if Clary knows right from the beginning that she is a shadowhunter?What if Jace is an Angel,dark,brooding and dangerous?Clary knows he is off limits,but can she withhold herself from him.When heaven and hell crashes, what can possibly happen..R&R/C
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer****:All characters belong to Cassandra Clare. I'm merely using them for non-profit entertainment purposes..**

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Right now, I wish, really, truly, wish that someone will tell me I'm hallucinating. That I am delusional..That the rough nights have taken its toll on me, befuddling my mind, taunting me with dangerous visions. Or probably these are the first signs I'm going nuts. I will have to pull out from the academy, and get myself enrolled in Nut School and then…..Shit. _This is not the time, Clary._I mentally chided myself .

But….Something in me snaps. Why the hell is this creature in a warded bookstore! The wards I have gotten Alec to place around this sanctuary of mine is supposed to prevent any of these..these creatures from stepping foot here. _This is the only place where I'm free from the confines of a professional shadow hunter!The only place where I can let my guards down and yet be assured that I will be safe! _Apparently,that's not the case anymore.A tiny little voice at the back of my head whispers.

I clear my throat. "Excuse me, no making out in the library. Please obey the rules and if your dense brains can't comprehend any of it, then leave this instant"

_That_ got his attention. He is turning to face me now. This dangerous creature, who by the looks of it, is seething with rage too. His skin glimmers a warm buttery golden glow. ( A dead giveaway that he is clearly and obviously not a human) His eyebrows arch in annoyance and his fathomless gold eyes fix on me.( Clearly not human either). Despite his rumpled blonde hair, he still looked…I gulp.. Beautiful. And thus, insanely dangerous in my book. My skin tingle at his fixated glare and I try not to shudder when I catch sight of the pair of white,white wings on his back, soft feathers speckled with gold dust at the edges. But if he holds on to his glamour, only one of his kind and people like me ( shadowhunters) are able to see him in his true form.

The girl in his embrace pulls herself from his arm, a little unwillingly I must add. Her face is flushed and her top button is undone. Talk about getting lower than low. "Jeesh, Jace, Didn't I tell you to come to my place instead of here. It-" Her eyes sweeps over the ceiling walls in one swift motion, "reeks of books and boredom. Only freckled freaks will consider it a haven"She splayed her fingers on the her Jaces's chest and give me a deep, cold stare, as if to tell me to back off her property.

_Freckled freaks?Better a freak than a dim-witted slut. _

"Aline". I give a slight nod, trying not to roll my eyes an call her names. Because I'm a shadowhunter and professional shadowhunters don't lose their temper.

"Clarissa. Fancy seeing you here," she smiles sweetly(sickly)Did I ever mention that I hate being called Clarissa? Oh, she knows. She's just trying to piss me senseless."Oh, I forgot .You work here like 24/7 don't you. Why don't,- "

" Why don't you go get a room, Aline. You know to, continue doing whatever you were doing with _it," _I interrupt her, all the while glaring pointedly at _this_ Jace. He has no right to be here. How had he gotten past the wards. If Aline have had a hand in this, oh, she's going to get it. A shadow hunter at that. And then just like that, my stupid gaze has to fall on the soft, pure white feathers. Is it really as soft as it looks…If I extend my hands out,will I-

"I am an _it,_ human?," The Jace's words were soft and calm, yet it was tempered with an edge that stroke like a razor across my skin. I have forgotten all about him. " You are degrading me to a mere animal?"

Satisfaction is plastered on Aline's face_. Hah!_ Her face said. _You are sooo dead._

My spine stiffen" You are admitting that you aren't one of us" I blurted, avoiding his question " You refer to me as _human_". I'm losing all my cool, so not cool.

" You already know I am not one of your kind "

"Do not"

Rule 1: Don't ever let them know who you are. Don't ever, ever let them know that you can see past their façade. If you want to live...

I have broken the one major rule in the book.

I am told that I am not to cuss

But in such a situation…

_Fuck._

I think that sums it all up.

"Do too"

"Do not"

"Liar," He says smoothly. For one moment I thought I see a flash of pain, of regret deep in his bottomless golden eyes. I am struck with a funny feeling of déjà vu. Been there, done it before kind of feeling. Before I can comprehend it , its is gone, leaving me to wonder if I have imagined it.

Aline looks like she wants to eat me up whole." Quit it. I'm getting bored of your sick attention seeking games, Clary. Why don't you leave us. I am sure the library needs you,"_More than we do_, Her eyes says

" I'm not moving an inch . Not until you leave."I state vehemently. _Not until it leaves_

" We will leave," The stupid _it _says. "Come, Aline. We will head to your place. And you-" he turns with languid grace to face me, " I am not done with you." _I will be meeting you again,Shadowhunter_

I want to cower in fear. I didn't know angel play mind games. No one ever told me that. And this one sure did.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself. I focus my thoughts on the ladders which slide on oiled rollers from one section to another. Seeing it glide from one end to another calms me to a certain degree. And when I am calm, I can think. Think how to not die. Perhaps, Luke will know.

Luke is in charge of the Academy. That's where all the shadowhunters acquire their kick-ass skills, learn everything there is to know about fighting the damned creatures of the night, make glass steeles, draw runes… Oh well, that's where we learn to survive. Period.

What was I doing, giving myself away, really. The only time when _they_ figure out who we are is when the steeles are stuck firmly in _their_ hearts. They take our secrets to their grave.

Not the other way round.

I don't know the first thing there is to know about Angels. Luke hardly mentioned anything about angels. But then only one thing mattered. He did tell us that they were dangerous. Not to be trusted. And that was all we needed to know. Is that all I really need to know right now?

"Izzy, will you be alright on your own? I need to see Luke," I ask my shadowhunter partner over my shoulders as I march to the front entrance, my bag slung over my shoulders

"What are you hiding from me now, Clary Fray?" She looks up from the books she are arranging, her eyebrows are pulled together, concern written all over her face.

Sometimes, I think she can see through me. "Nothing. Luke needs me for something," I pull off an effortless shrug. And sometimes, I think I am too good an actor.

She scans my face for a moment, looking for signs of treachery and then lets me off .

As I push open the doors, an icy blast of wind hits my face. It's the time of year when the temperature takes a deep plunge. I remind myself as I turn into a street. So, It should be normal. Note the should be. Which means that it isn't. Something is not right. A thin tendril of panic unfurls in my chest and then realization slams down upon me. But it's too late.

The _it _is here. Right in front of me. Within touching distance. What does he want? He inches closer. Waves of undiluted anger roll of his body. I take a tiny step backwards. I want to scream and scream and scream for Izzy, for Luke, for anyone but nothing comes out . Because his slender, fingers are curled tightly around my neck....


	2. Chapter 2

Kiss of Winter

Chapter 2

All I feel is pain. Nothing but pure unrestricted pain, flowing through my veins. Thousand sharp icy needles seemingly embedded into my skull, threatening to splinter it. I flail under his grasp, hitting at him blindly with my fist, clenched so tight they have turned white. _My steele_. I reached for the weapon in my jeans pocket but he drowns my effort by tightening his hold.

"I can't breathe," I wheeze pathetically.

"Hold still before I decide to snap your neck, human," he answers contemptuously.

When I thought his hold had ceased, I whipped my hands to my pocket, curling my hands around the cold glass steele. And all of a sudden, blinding white images flash across my eyes. I hear laughter, peals of joyous laughter rippling across the air, and then a moment later, a sharp cry of panic and fear, so raw, so intense breaks into the sky, crippling the temporary happiness. ,shattering my heart.

I fling my hands to cover my ears, trying desperately to block out the horrifying sounds. But they continue. The sobs, the screams. The anguish in my soul is gouging me like a rabid monster trying to claw its way out of my head. The ache in my heart is so intense that tears begin to pool at eyes, flowing down in an endless stream.

"What did you feel?" His voice, melodious, yet sharp and clear cuts through the voices in my head. "What was it like?" He repeats again, this time softer and for a moment I thought I feel a breeze of bitterness sweep across his words.

He lowers his head and buries it in my neck .I inhale sharply.

"Did you enjoy my little…gift, Shadow hunter?". He breathes into my ear.

The tight hold of his fingers on my neck is gone. I am not sure, but I think he lifts a pale, slender finger and brushes the tears away from my face. A different kind of pain shoots through my jaw and I realize I am grinding my teeth. _Don't touch me._

I lift my head an inch and find that I am staring at a busy street, Pedestrians stroll along Chester's Street , chatting animatedly with one another..A red convertible speeds down the road. No white, white wings. No deep, golden eyes. He-it is gone..

_Breathe, Clary, Breathe._

I take a deep gulp of air.

My hands are shaking.

My breaths are coming out uneven.

I don't need a mirror to tell me that my face looks as if it has been drained of blood.

For once in my life, I no longer feel in control of things.

_Luke. I need Luke. He will know. He has to.._

I burst through Luke's Study in the Academy ten minutes later and see him look up from his desk with a startled expression on his face.

"Clary, wh- "

"Luke," I cut him mid-sentence " We need to talk"

He sweeps a swift look over my trembling body and concern flashes across his features . " Are you okay, Clary?"

I ignore him." Tell me about Angels"

I can swear I see a hint of hesitation in his eyes. "What happened?"

" I was attacked by a He-Dev- I mean, an Angel just a while ago, after I left the library. He-_it_ manipulated my mind," I explain impatiently. " Now, tell me what I need to know, Luke"

"Manipulated your mind, you say?" He knit his brows together "How"

"How? How? You should know! He-it made me feel Fear. Frustration. Pain. Anguish, Luke! That's how!" I know my anger is misdirected, yet somehow I feel that Luke is hiding something from me. And that's making me all the more Bitter. Angrier

He winces before crossing across the room to place two strong and calloused hands on my shoulders to stop me from shaking.

I take a deep breath. "Sorry, Luke" My tone softens."But it's time you give me some answers"

"Steeles don't work"

"What?" I question incredulously.

"Steeles can't hurt them like they do the other downworlders, Clary"

"Yea, but why?"

"Angels are not downworlders"

"What, so they are the upworlders now? A class above us? Free to mock. Free to kill. And yet escape all punishment?" My words drip with sarcasm " Can you be more specific, Luke?" _Like, how then can I kill them._

" They are the children of the Archangels. Immortals, Clary" He continues to explain calmly. " Only an Archangel can punish his angels"

Translation: I can't lay a finger on Angels.

"We stay within our boundaries and they stay within theirs. That was the pact that we have agreed upon hundreds of years ago" Luke eyes me wistfully as he speak.

"But what if..what if one of them does cross the boundary?" I am referring to the He-Devil Jace, of course.

"You come home..physically unharmed tonight, Clary. We cannot declare war against such a formidable race without solid proof. It will be the death of us." He mutters apologetically as he looks out of the glass windows into the fast approaching night sky.

Translation: Only when I am dead will the psychotic, womanizer it be punished by the Archangels.

" Why didn't you arm us with this knowledge earlier? You told us they are dangerous. Not to be trusted. Remember?" I accused

He inhales sharply." What could you have done even if I did care to mention it to you, Clary?"

"But you-"

"I think that's enough for now" He cuts me short and waves me away.

"Luke, I th-"I try again

"Clary, there are a group of Downworlders reportedly causing trouble at the Pandemonium. Care to check?"

I scowl. He sure does know what diverts my attention. "We are not done yet, Luke" I tell him before slamming the door shut behind me.

* * *

I am overwhelmed with pride and satisfaction. Four kills today at the Pandemonium Club. Four demons returned to their home dimensions. Four less to worry about. A slight grin tugs at my lips. Wait until Izzy hears about this…

I throw a glance over my shoulders, assures myself that the Club is free of demons and walks out into the night, heading for home.

Home is the Academy, just so you know.

Although, really, it isn't all that 'homey'. No Dad. No Mum.

But there's Luke. There's Izzy. There's Alec and a bunch of other shadow hunters. They are dearer to me than a true home (Whatever it is like. I imagine I have never had a taste of it, since Luke says I was found on the front porch of the academy seventeen years ago,)

I turn into a corner, humming a tuneless melody.

And that is when I see.

_No, no._ My screams echo in my head. But it wouldn't have mattered anymore then. The wound on his stomach speak volumes. Death is a certainty. Too late. Far, too late

I look for his murderer and my searching eyes found him in an instant

_The angel._

The victim crumples on the floor, hands grasping the hilt of the knife lodged deeply into his abdomen, blood the color of crimson red staining his white t-shirt.

A sudden clarity of anger help blast away the revulsion fogging my mind and I charge towards the tall, slender form of the angel, now leaning against the brick walls, watching the suffering of the dying man with an untroubled and emotionless look.

A mere feet away now. I raise the glass steele, preparing to pierce it through his heart. Even if it doesn't kill him, It has to injure him at the very least.

He turns around with the speed of lightning and holds my arm in a tight grasp.

"Look," He motions towards the figure, now twisting and moaning in pain. "I mean to really look, little girl"

I squint my eyes and a gasp escapes my throat.

The blood is no longer red. But a thick, black liquid.

Not a human.

The creature snarls at me and shows two rows of sharp, fanged teeth before it grows smaller and smaller and vanishes into thin air.

"Strong glamour," The angel breaks me from my trance like state, " You were going to ask why you didn't see it in it's true form initially, weren't you?" He drops my arm and eyes the steele

My gaze continue to linger on the empty space of an air where the demon once filled. "Oh"

"The cat got your tongue, human? Shouldn't you apologize to me instead? "

I whirl around to face him. " No, I don't find the need to"

He ignores me. "By the way, that was a fine tune you were humming just now"

My cheeks color in embarrassment. " Y-you are despicable!" I spat.

"No, you got the wrong person. I'm Jace. Though of course you should have known by now."

"That's not what I me-"

"Don't like Jace?No? Hmm.. What about 'Tempting' or 'Ravishing' I have been called that numerous times.."

Grrr…

I flash him a fake sweet smile, and kicked him in the knees, willing all my anger and frustration out on him. He yelps in surprise.

Horrified by my sudden display of recklessness, I turn around and prepare to sprint home..

Well, before a figure falls with a slight thud on the pavement, blocking my way. His soft white wings, speckled with gold dust fluttering ever so slightly.

Caught by surprise, I backtrack, the edge of my shoes catches an uneven surface and I fall with a loud 'thump'

I grit my teeth as the muscles in his jaw quivers

A loud, clear laugh erupts from his throat.

" Oh, god, Shadow hunter. You never fail to entertain me!"

I am struck with a funny feeling of déjà vu again.

"Your laughter…" I whisper, before trailing off. " Reminds me of-," _Who? What? Where? I don't know..I don't even know what has gotten into me. But the words come out before I can stop myself. _"I know you…"

**A/N:**

**Many thanks to all my reviewers!**

_**Azalee Charlin.. I imagine Alex Pettyfer as Jace most of the time.. Hmm..it never crossed my mind that Keenan bears a resemblance to Jace..Lol. My eyes were only on Seth…**_

**I hope you all enjoyed this chapter of Kiss of Winter..If there's anything you want to ask me, feel free to PM me :)**

**And please do continue to review. Tell me of your expectations. Let's see if your guesses are close...*Winks***


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm dedicating **_**Vanilla Twilight by Owl City**_** especially to this chapter..**

The laughter dies and instead, a look of astonishment crosses his feature. As do mine.

He comes to my side in one smooth glide, kneels and searches my eyes for the truth. He finds none perhaps, but crushes me against his lean and muscled chest..His soft white wings encloses me, cocoon-like.

I squeeze my eyes shut and stammer "I..I don't know..didn't m-mean,". I am too shocked myself to even know that he is handling me in a way I wouldn't have allowed any other man to in any other circumstance.

He leans his head against my shoulder before whispering, " It took you faster this time to realize. So much faster…" He trails off. He smells of peppermint and sea breeze, I realize. " Why did you do it, Clary? Why did you ask Raziel to do so?Why didn't you tell me?"

I pull away and scans his face. My fingers acted on their own as they glide over his sharp features, pausing ever so slightly at his soft, warm lips.

_Raziel. . _The mere mention oh his name sends a shiver down my spine_  
_

"I don't know" I say softly. Even though, I know I do. The answers lay somewhere deep in me, waiting to be digged out. But no one can do it, except me.. And I don't know how to..

My hatred for him is dulled by a strong ache in my chest.

I think a part of my brain shut down on me.. I wouldn't not have hated him otherwise.

He leans towards me again and brushes his lips lightly against mine.

"No. don't…Don't do that," He flinches in surprise and a look of hurt crosses his features. I gulp before blurting, "Not when it taste of…Aline,"

_No, no,no I did not just say that._

He grins impishly " You are jealous,"

"No, I am not "I huff

"Yes, you are"

" I said no. You heard me,"

_You can't possibly go from hating someone to…to feeling so much for him one second later..This is not right and you know. You know it isn't,Clary._

He sighs, more to himself than to me, I think. " I was doing it because…well, because I want to see how you will react to it,". He actually look a little…embarassed

"And?"

He frowns, "And when you seem so cool about..about me and Aline I mean. I was furious and agitated,"

_I know I am supposed to ask why, Why he expects me to be..jealous. But I didn't because a part of me knows he knows I know. It's all so weird._

"You know, Clary, I lost control of myself after that. I hurt you…didn't I?"His face drops a fraction.

I shudder at the thought "Grumpy. You were like an old man,"

"That too," he smiles. " And it really damaged my pride. You.. not falling for my pretty face,"

"Oh, I am sure many have. ," I scowl, "The list of name still grows doesn't it?"

He chuckles bitterly, " Yea, but they are not you. They never were,"

_Then why do it. Why continue to pursue all of them_. I know better than to voice my thoughts. He will accuse me of being jealous again and obviously, I know I have no right to.

Silence. He awaits my reply with a caution look on his face. But I can't find the right words to say,_  
_

" Do I…do I know you from some where?" The question slips out of my mouth and I regret it the moment it did.

The smile from his face disappears. He is all seriousness now.

"I don't want to lose you again,Clary. You do understand, don't you?"He mutters, brushing away my question, _avoiding_ rather.

I nod, although somewhere in the back of my mind, I know I am not supposed to.

_I don't want to lose him either. _The sudden realization slams down on me, questioning my sanity.

"I'm sorry," He whispers again before he places a cool hand on my forehead. "I'm sorry, Clary, for before and for what I will be doing to you now" I hear him say again as darkness envelopes me. His palm alternates between icy cool and fiery hot , sending waves after waves of nausea down the back of my throat." I want to be by your side, just a little longer. This memory has to go. Remember, I will always…."

His voice trails as my eyelids grow heavier and heavier. Fighting to keep awake is now becoming a losing battle. I thrash under his hold but the darkness he sends to encircle me pulls me beneath its surface with an urgency I cannot fathom..

And then I think I lost consciousness, realizing that I will never know what it is he wants to tell me because I wake up exactly seven hours later, snuggled in my bed. I don't remember anything the killing-spree back at the Pandemonium. I don't know how I end up back at the Academy.

I struggle to remember but a blinding pain shoots through my head.

All I can think of is that I am not whole. Its as if..as if a part of me has been yanked away. I sigh inwardly and quickly brush away the feeling that somehow I have been mind-raped

_Don't think about it anymore. Forget about it. _A tiny voice at the back of my mind says.

_Yes, forget. I think it's a memory I don't want to keep anyway._

_I will forget._

_I must forget._

About what, who where? I don't know…

I don't want to know.

**Is my story any good? Obviously, since its mine. I do like it. But then again that's not fair judgement, isn't it? If you find any parts of my story uninteresting, do tell me so that I can improvise. I need to know what my readers are expecting from me.**

**Thanks to all my reviewers. You people make my day!It's really nice to know that there are people who enjoy reading my works. :) and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.**

**If you did, please review! :)  
**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

_It's the same dream again, of Devastation and Love and Guilt. The girl lies on a sea of green. It's a wide expanse of meadow, thick with grasses and wildflowers in summer. Her chest heaves only slightly. Her breath comes out in soft gasps, barely audible to anyone except for the boy who sits motionless by her side, tawny eyes gleaming with a sheen of unshed tears. Tawny? "Jace," she whispers before her eyelids flutter close. "I love you, " she whispers. "I-,". The boy says something but the girl doesn't hear it._

I bolt awake, forehead covered with a light sheen of sweat. I roll over my bed, bury my face in my pillow. It muffles the screams of frustration that escapes my burning lungs.

"Why," I thump my pillow, "Why,". _Thump, "_Why!" Another thump that sends it flying across the room, " Why Do I have to dream about a bloody angel and a dead girl every single night?!" I yell at the walls

_Not to mention that the Angel is no other than a certain Jace._

I look sleep-deprived but I don't want to go back to bed. I don't want to risk falling asleep again. I need something to wake me up and shake away what I have dreamed of.

Carelessly brushing my hair up into a pony tail, I change out of my pajamas and into something warmer, before storming out into the light of day.

Cold wind blasts me in the face, but that's exactly what I need. The sun peeps from behind stormy, grey clouds, promising a heavy downpour, later in the day.

_To complement my sodden mood, _"Downright perfect, "I whisper sarcastically under my breath.

"Are you sleep talking?" A voice says behind me.

I spin around, startled. He stands there watching me, eying me with a burning curiosity, his white wings blending into the snow-covered backdrop. He raises his eyebrows, "A hey would be nice,"

I scowl at him and crouch slightly, taking on a defensive posture and at the same time preparing myself for a possible need to attack. I cannot let my defenses down at this critical moment. I have learnt from past experiences that it may be a matter of life or death. "Why should I, when you are obviously forming a plan to kill me,"

This is a nightmare turned reality. In my sleep he haunts me. When I'm awake, he taunts me. Ughhh.

He chortles. It's as though he can see through me. Hear my thoughts. Know the true reason for my fear of him.

"No, it's not much fun to play with you dead, little girl. Alive and whole would be nicer," He says, a hint of smile plays over his lips.

"You bastard," I growl lowly and launch myself at him, clenched fist raised into the air, aiming for his face.

He whirls in a semicircle that leaves me sailing past him, chuckling infuriatingly as he did so.

Catching myself, I glare at him over my shoulder, He sure am god damn fast,

A look of surprise crosses his features when I pull out my cross daggers. I grin. "Payback time, angel boy,". Gathering all the strength I have, I feint an overhead swing. When he raises his arms to block, I swipe low with my left hand, aiming for his abdomen. He dodges again and I'm left swiping cool air.

He chuckles again. "And how, if I may ask, are you going to do it?"

With a sudden inspiration, I fling my daggers, aiming at the broad, white wings. It lodges itself deeply into the corner of his left wing. "That's how,"

A satisfied smile creeps into my face.

That should teach him not to mess with a shadow hunter, especially one by the name of Clary Fray.

And then, I realize that I am not just inflicting pain on him….

He is staring at his wing and when I follow his gaze, what I saw made me sick.

"I didn't mean to.." I trail off staring wide-eyed at the gaping wound in his wings, blood flowing out in an endless stream, like a faucet that wouldn't turn of, staining the snow below his feet a deep crimson red. A metallic taste fills the air.

"The wings are the most sensitive part of an Angel," He whispers as he crumples to the ground "Why did you do it then, if you don't mean to," He looks up, a dazed incomprehension in that pair of golden eyes.

"You are supposed to heal fast!" I cry hysterically. " I bend down beside him and cover the gaping hole with my palm, willing silently for it to heal. The hilt of my dagger sticks out of in an odd angle.

He flinches at my touch.. "But I'm not," Pause. "What are you going to do now?" He adds.

_What should I do?_

A wave of frantic helplessness is building inside me, threatening to turn tidal.

"D-don't die. That's what you have to do," I whisper as I got up, "I'm going to go get my stele and heal you."

He clutches my wrist with a firm grasp. "Wait" He closes his fingers around the hilt of the dagger and pulls it out swiftly. The hole patches up immediately. " I do heal fast," He looks up and grins impishly, "I Just want to see how you will react to having hurt me,"

A look of astonishment crosses my face. And then anger pours through my veins. "You" I glare pointedly at him, "You tricked me,"

" The cut did hurt," He says matter-of-factly. " I wasn't lying,"

"Yea, but you could have healed yourself sooner," I jab a finger in his solid chest. "You were withholding-" _Jab_ "Your powers," A final jab.

He catches my hands and pin it down firmly at my sides. I try to wriggle it free but it's too tight.

Inching closer, he gives me a look so intense it sends a shudder down my spine.

"The barrier I have created, "He bends low to whisper into my ears, "It won't last for long, You will eventually remember. And when you do..." He closes his eyes and inhales sharply before shaking his head. "Forget I say that,"

I stare at him incredulously."There's no need for me to forget. None of what you said got registered in my head in the first place,"

_This Angel is a mental breakdown._

He looks at me wistfully, "Good,"

"Oh there you are Jace!," A voice calls out. Jace's hold on my wrist immediately loosens.

_Aline_

She narrows her eyes at me before shifting them towards Jace , cooing "Luke would like to see you in his study now. He sent me to fetch you, "

And then, as if on purpose, she tiptoes and plants a kiss on Jace's lips.

I wince and try to focus my thoughts on something else. _Don't look. Don't look. _But I did anyway, and seeing him kiss her back… Well, It… hurts.. like a knife has just.. sliced through me.

I turn around and walk away.

"Clary,"Jace calls out, stopping me in my stride.

_Don't turn around. Don't turn around._

I didn't.

**A/N :Yup, it's the end. Like it? Don't Like it?**

** As usual, a big thank you to my reviewers, Azalee Charlin( for always saying the sweetest things ever), Littlebells ( No, that was hardly an interrogation. xD), Jay-Bird95 ( You might get your answers in the next chapter), Shopaholic92( here's your update. sorry it's a bit late.) and Thorntangle ( Is that how you expect things to turn out?)**

**Alright, I need to know if you guys like fluff. My previous chapter is an example of a fluff .This one is half fluff. Correct me if I'm wrong. Or do you prefer I get straight to the point?**

**Please review. I need to have readers to continue.. And it makes me real happy too. Critiques are welcomed. They are more than welcomed actually. I really need them.**

**And Happy Halloween! (Though it's one day early). Nevermind.**

**But you are still gonna give me candies right. :)  
**


	5. Chapter 5

"I can do this every night and not get tired of it," Izzy yells as she darts forward and lashes out at a grey-skinned demon with her whip, sending a spray of thick black liquid across the alley's stone walls. A grin dances across her lips.

"You are crazy," I shouted back at her while dodging the bone talons of the eight feet tall demon before me. "We should have asked Alec and Magnus along. Three gigantic demons are not really my cup of tea," _And perhaps, it would help too, if he was here. Nine days, Exactly nine days since I last saw him._

Whipping my stele up, I plant it mercilessly into the lower part of the demon's body. That's where it's uh; groin should be, if it even has one. It growls, a thick angry buzz and lunges forward at me,. But that's before I pull another Stele out of my back pocket, whisper to it and pierce it into his chest.

Izzy chuckles. " That's a bull's eye, Clary, " Her shouts are muffled by the howls and screams of the third demon she has just taken down " If Magnus were to be here, and Alec was the one who had done-" She points at the stele still lodged into the groin of the now shrinking demon, "_that._ Magnus would have accused Alec of sexually harassing another male"

I laugh " The demon isn't a male,"

Izzy scrutinizes me as though I have said the stupidest thing ever, "Anything with balls _is _a male, Clary"

"You have got them, " I grin impishly. "That makes you _male_-ish, doesn't it?"

"Excuse me," She edges closer and stares at me with an incredulous look on her face.

I laugh, " You are fearless. That's what I meant,"

She continues to stare at me and then throws her head back and laugh. " Come on. Let's head back to the Academy. It's late"

Something in a dark corner catches my eyes."Wait" I kneel and pick it up.

"What's that?"

"Oh, I thought I dropped something, It wasn't though," I reply, trying to keep my voice calm and indifferent. "Izzy, will you head home first. I need to get something from the Convenience Store down the road-,"

"I will go with you,"she cuts in.

"No, it's okay. You are exhausted. Go home. Get some rest,"

She hesitates."Alright. Be safe,"she waves at me as she heads in the opposite direction.

Darkness swallows her up whole and she disappears from my sight "Oh, Izzy, what am I going to do?" I whisper to nothingness as I unclench my fist to reveal a white feather, edges speckled with midnight blue dust.

It's not Jace's.

It's not any other Angels'.

Flashes of images dances across my eyes. So very similar to the ones I have seen when Jace had nearly decide to break my neck. But this time, they are no longer white blurs. This time,they are as clear as daylight.

The laughter was _his_, radiating with joy and happiness I never knew existed

The screams were _his,_ drenched with devastation, surging with ever-increasing waves.

A lump rockets up my throat.

The feather….

Not the feather.

It's not his.

It's mine.

A memory slips into place…

* * *

_**Dark isn't the absence of light. It is an inky black fog that slithers and slides, before wrapping around you like an impenetrable sheet. It suffocates.**_

_**Cold isn't the snowflakes that carpet the ground with its unearthly beauty. It is the thousand icy claws that rake through your heart, leaving you damaged beyond repair. It is pain.**_

_**Love? **_

_**What of that?**_

_**Is it simply the mammalian drive to devour another?**_

_**Or**_

_**Is it the strong desire and need to protect another from all harm,**_

_**Even if the only way would be to sacrifice your own life you once thought so precious?**_

_**I used to think that Love is simply something physical, but now…**_

_**How can I be sure anymore?**_

_**When I would die to protect him.**_

_I was encompassed in darkness. My hands were bound to a post that dug sharply into my back. My wings, were shredded beyond redemption. I have been here for nearly a month now- this tiny cell and its four slabs of stone grey walls. It seemed an incredibly long time for someone who was scheduled for execution.. _

_No, I didn't commit murder. Quite the opposite. I earned a place in this god-forsaken place because I had refused to kill him. Jace Wayland._

_Footsteps at the hall sent waves of fear rolling off my tattered body._

_Valentine came into view. The door opened with a dull click. He slipped into the cell and stood in front of me, watching me with a look of unveiled disgust. His raven black wings blended into the darkness until they became one._

"_Tell me where he is," He growled, "That boy.". He didn't waste time with his usual 'Hello Clarissa. I hope you are doing fine talk'. I guessed time was running out for him. He wanted to become Archangel before Ithuriel hunted him down. The powers he would gain from being an archangel could ensure a fair fight at the very least. If he stayed an Angel, he was dead meat. .And the only person who sat in his way was Jace Wayland. Or so he thought. Because he had trusted the prophecy.A prophecy that could have been false.._

_I swallowed. But I had to keep it a secret. Keep him safe for as long as I can. Stall time. That was the only thing a weakling like me was capable of doing. _

_I lifted my head and stared back at him, hard, "I don't know," _

"_Clarissa, I'm not to be toyed with," There was a pure warning in the whip of his words, " Tell me now,"_

"_The Boy,"I shot back at him with all the strength and will I could muster."Did not tell me where he was headed for,"I tried to exude an air of confidence. Valentine had thought me once well. Never betray your fear to an enemy. It is a sign that you are losing…_

_There was a pause. _

_The only sound that reached my ears was the howling of the wind outside._

"_My biggest mistake was to send you on this mission. You were just one step away from success and yet in the end, you failed to deliver the killing blow. You failed me, Clarissa Fray."He finally said. "But you foolish child, I will send someone else to take your place, Aline -" He edged closer, "Would be a good choice, don't you think?"_

_So that was what Valentine was planning. Send Aline as a bait. Seduce Jace and when the time came, kill him. Do what I had failed to do. _

"_Jace wouldn't fall for it." I heard myself say. "Members of The Shadows are always with him. They will protect him,"Jace was rumored to be in the protection of a group of warriors. Which I later on found out to be true._

_Valentine scoffed, "Jace Wayland is well-known for enjoying the company of women. It wouldn't be too difficult to get close to him even if his Shadows are always around. You managed to."_

"_I-"_

"_Enough," He brushed off my words with a flick of his arm. "You made your choice,Clarissa" He drew back another hand from behind and a ball of orange flames sprung from it. Angel Fire. Another hit aimed at my already scorched wings would be the death of me. I would die between one heartbeat and the next _

_This is it. I cannot wait any longer, I thought._

"_Raziel, " I screamed, "By the blood of an angel, I summon thy!"There was tension in the air. A look of surprise registered on Valentine's features. And then anger._

"_What have you done?" He yelled._

_Those were the last words he had said to me._

_What have I done?_

_Pain shot through me and I feel like I have been pulled inside out.I would have screamed then but I couldn't find my voice.I would have struggled and fought then but I didn't have arms or legs and then just like that it was all over. I was flung into my own body again._

_But I wasn't at my the Cell anymore,Valentine was gone. Instead, I was surrounded by..nothingness. It was all white. White and white and nothing else but white. White wasn't a thing._

"_I assume You have made your decision, Clarissa?"The Archangel Raziel came into view. "You wouldn't have summoned me otherwise,"_

"_Yes," I managed a croak. I was too stunned to say anything was right, What have I done?_

"_You understand that there is no turning back?" His voice dropped into a low whisper._

_I didn't reply._

"_Tell me, what you know and do not know, Clarissa."He said again, "Don't keep mum,"_

_I gulped. "I understand that if I agree to this, I will be sent down to earth as a shadow hunter- a human.I will lose my memories as an Angel. I will be your eyes. Through me you will know if the humans are plotting against us. Through me you will ensure the safety of our diminishing race. And-"I couldn't bring myself to continue. What kind of a life would I have to lead if all my thoughts and secrets would no longer belong to me and only me? Was I willing to live my life as an ArchAngels's tool? But it was either this or death in the hands of Valentine.  
_

"_And that the blood of an Angel runs thick in your veins," He continued for me, "That when the day comes for you to remember about us-"_

_His next words sent a lump rocketing up in my throat._

"_You will die,"_

"_How?" I uttered the words with surprising calmness. "You have told me before that I would but how?"_

"_I will come for you,"_

"_You will kill me?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Why?"_

_He gave me a look of impatience, "I can't give you any more answers than I have " He said. "Take it or leave it. "_

"_Jace-"_

"_Jace?"He interjected. "You think he will come and save you out of this mess? After what you nearly did?" _

_I pondered over his question. Jace. Would he come for me? No, not likely. Not after he knew about the role I had played in his assassination. The hatred in his eyes then, it still burnt in me, even now. But, despite all that, I held on dearly to a tiny thread of hope that he would. Yet, one month was far too long a wait. His message was clear. No, he wasn't going to come . And I couldn't wait any longer._

"_I will" I inhaled. "Take it,"_

_I heard my voice crack. My vision blurred as my eyes filled up. _

_

* * *

_

"Clary," A familiar voice pulls me back to the present. _Too familiar._

I look up and find myself staring into a pair of golden eyes, "You didn't come," I whisper softly. "In the end, you didn't come for me,"

**A/N: A huge thank you to ****my reviewers, amberlee1****3, babiixilyx3, Azalee Charlin, Gabriel Dragonheart, Cicas33, Miss Bellsie, Littlebells, Shopaholic92 and Awesome Hobo( Hey, Clary wasn't raped. Her memories were just taken away by Jace. I hope it clears the confusion :)****  
**

**This chapter was originally over 3000 words. But then I cut out certain parts that I thought was...inappropriate.  
**

**I have a major exam coming up soon and it's kinda hard having to juggle between studies and writing fanfic. I hope you guys understand if new chapters aren't posted up frequently. I will still try to find the time to write though. Don't worry.**

**I'm looking forward to writing the next chapter.. Because its entirely about... I will leave you guessing at that. :)  
**

**And please review! Well, if you liked it, I guess... :)  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**_Sorry for the wait..._**

* * *

_Recap: "Clary," A familiar voice pulls me back to the present. __Too familiar._

_I look up and find myself staring into a pair of golden eyes, "You didn't come," I whisper softly. "In the end, you didn't come for me,"............._

_

* * *

  
_

_Kiss Of Winter: Chapter Six_

He rakes his fingers through his blonde hair and sighs. The silence lengthens and he continues to avoid my penetrating gaze

"I did," he finally says. His voice is thick with unspoken feelings. Guilt. Pain. Sorrow? I wait for him to say more. There has to be more that he wants to tell me. But he doesn't.

"I wouldn't have forgotten something so important," I tell him. It is true.

"Then perhaps, the memory wasn't important enough," He retorts back. " What exactly is the most important thing to you, Clary? What is it that you hold dearest to your heart," I have the strangest feeling that he has been wanting to ask me that question for a long, long time.

"I-"

"It's too dangerous to talk here, Clary," He whispers . "Come" _He doesn't even wait for an answer._

Without a word of warning, he unfurls his wings, wraps his arms around me and rises before I can do so much as part of lips in surprise. Survival instinct kicks in and I lock my arms around his neck, holding on for dear life as his wings gain momentum and the snow-covered street falls away at a dizzying speed.

A blast of cold November air hits me in the face,"Where are you bringing me to?"I ask between chattering teeth.

"The non-existent"

I blink in surprise. "What?"

"That's where I'm bringing you," He says, lips against my ears."And don't ask any more questions until I say you are allowed to. Can you do that?"

"Wh-" I stop myself midway. "Okay." There's something about his tone that tells me it is important.

He picks up speed and I wrap my arms tighter around his neck.

"Don't get too comfortable. We will be landing soon,"

Color creeps into my cheeks. I think I blushed, but its lucky I can use the cold as an excuse. " I'm not use to flight. You think I should make a slight tear in your wings so that you will slow down?"

He scoffs and then without a word of warning drops me. I scream… and come to a landing on smooth polished ground. Whipping around to shoot Jace an accusing glare, I see him leaning against the metal railing of the balcony. Huge windows take up the space opposite me and heavy velvet drapes on the inside shields it's interior from my view.

" Where are we?" I ask, as I pick myself up.

"The Non-Existent. Weren't you paying any attention to what I was saying?"he mutters as he turns around and stares out into the starless night sky and the falling snow, silvery in the moonlight

I give him a look of unveiled annoyance "I did. But where, or what exactly is the Non –Existent."

"The Non Existent." He says, "Is the only place where Raziel cannot locate you. It is in short,-"he turns around, "The only place where you will cease to be his tool. He cannot hear your thoughts while you are in the protection of the Non-Existent. Only very few among our race know of it. Me. My Shadows.. but not Raziel."

"Your race?" I whisper beneath my breathe, " Isn't it mine as much as yours?"

Jace edges closer, "Clary.." He trails of, as though unsure of the right words to say. "How much have you remembered?"

My gaze flickers to his tawny eyes and a sudden wave of sadness rushes through me. Where was he when I had needed him?

" Just one bit. I was in a cell with Valentine. He was forcing me to tell him your whereabouts and-,"

"Don't," he cuts me as he squeezes his eyes shut before opening them again "Don't say anymore. I don't need to hear it twice,"

"Okay," Twice, he had said.I very nearly wanted to ask him who was the first person who had told him about it but decided against.

Silence.

"Aline, She's Valentine's-"

He interjects,"She's under Valentine. If that's what you were about to say, then yes I do know"

"Then why-"

"I was playing along. Let the arrogant bastard think that he's going to be the victor of this cat and mouse game. His cockiness is bound to drive him to make mistakes. I' m waiting for that one chance and make sure that it becomes the death of him"

"Oh wow, you have magnificent acting skills. So much so that you seem to be enjo-"

"Enjoying every moment of it. Yea, I did. Might as well make good use of the little gifts that Valentine have been throwing in my face"

Gifts huh? "Can you stop cutting me mid-sente-,"

"Sure,"

"You just did it," I scowl "Again"

"I won't anymore if that will make you happy. But really, it's nice to complete your sentences. You are so predictable,"

"Was I just a gift as well? A nicely wrapped up box with a big red bow that Valentine 'threw in your face'?"I ask

"You sure did look the part of a sweet and inviting gift box. But when I unwrapped it,you know what I found? Explosives." He scoffs a little, "One that I carried around with me like a favorite toy."

"I'm not just a toy" I retort slightly annoyed at being called a toy and annoyed at myself for feeling a little pleased that I was his 'favorite'

"Did you hear me say, "Clary you are a toy?". The sides of his lips lift a little, its as if he is..amused

"It's the closest you can get to saying that,"

The silence lengthens. I search his eyes but find not a single word in them.

"The feather. Were you the one who put it there?" I ask.

He rubs his temples, "No, it wasn't me, Clary.. "

"Then who?"

"I don't know," He finally admits, a little annoyed. So there's something that he doesn't know.

_Another silence._

"Why didn't you come,"

"I told you I did, Clary." He sighs inwardly.

"Sure took you long enough, if you eventually did"

"One month"

"Wow, that's awfully fast. You want me to kneel and worship you for eventually coming to my aid?"

He rolls his eyes, "There's no need for sarcasm, Clary . I did. Only, I was.. too late." And then he says something under his breath which he probably thinks I didn't catch because I have a hearing impairment.

"Did you just say 'So the pot calls the kettle black? What exactly do you mean by that"

He lifts a brow "I didn't know you are so bad at proverbs, Clary. You are the pot and I'm the kettle. And no,"he adds " I cannot be the pot, in case you are wondering"

I furrow my brows, "Your point is?" I ask and then before he answers, realization slams down onto me, "Wait, are you trying to accuse me of doing something I haven't done"

"No, I'm only accusing you of doing something which you have done but so conveniently failed to mention,"

"What is it?"

He sighs inwardly, "Clary, don't you know why it took me a month to get to you back then?"

"Because you were furious when you found out I played a vital role in Valentine's plan?"

"What else?"

I shake my head, "Nothing more I can think of,"

"I was in a semiconscious state, hovering between life and death. But under the care of my..my protectors, I finally healed. But-"He turns away, "The healing process took too long. Far too long. When I came to my consciousness, it was already too late,"

"Why were you injured?"

He presses his lips into a thin line. " You might be better off not knowing,"

"Why" I press.

He whips around and edges closer until he stands directly in front of me, his tall frame hovering over me. " Clary…What you did to me… Why did you do it?"

"I… I trusted Valentine. When he said that you were planning to take down the Archangels' so that you could have the power for yourself, I believed him. He was after all..my father…,"

Jace scoffs, "So I'm the mad angel who's plotting world domination and he's the saint who's trying to save the entire humanity .But…" He throws me a frustrated glance, "When I asked you why you did it, I wasn't referring to why you aided Valentine. What I wanted to know was…. Nevermind, Clary,"

There's a finality to his words so I didn't push him any further. Besides, there's something else I need to know….

"Jace, how long…" I trail off. It's a question that frightens me to no end but yet, it remains one that must be answered. He will know. "How long has it been since I became a human?"

He fidgets a little, and heads towards the windows, pulling them open. Warm light spills out. "It's late…. We will leave that for another time. I'm going to bed,"

"Wait,"

"What, you want to share my bed?"He asks, "It can fit the both of us but I'm not sure if I want to share it with you,"

I scowl at him, " Neither do I. I have my own bed back at the Academy. Bring me home. "

"No,"

"Excuse me?" I ask in an incredulous tone

"You heard me. I said no."

"Alright, be a bitch. I have my steel, I can draw a portal.,"

"Bitch? You see me wearing pink ribbons in my hair, Clary?" He mutters before rolling his eyes. " I was an _it_ and now I'm a bitch..Right." He taps a slender finger on my head, "Think, if you can draw a portal to bring you home. Others can also use that mode of transport to get here. It wouldn't be safe anymore."

"I will wa-"

"You will walk home," He snickers, "Hah-hah. Very funny, Clary. That's going to be a long walk. Six hours give or take. "

"I will call-"

" Call whom? Isabelle? Or that Warlock, Magnus Bane? I think he's too busy making out with Alec to bother about your petty little problems"

Does he have to know everything?

" Listen to me, will you ?You can't go home or whatever you call it because the moment you step out of this place, I can no longer ensure you stay protected. Your thoughts become Raziel's as well. And well, when he knows you have remembered,… I guess it's better left unspoken"

I shudder. Of course I know. "Then where…"

"Here. With me," He colors a little, " You will have your own room, of course…"

"Izzy and the rest… They will be worried,"

"They know,"

"About me?" I ask "They know about my past?"

He inclines his head. It is neither a nod nor a negation. His non-answers are stretching my nerves as thin as wires.

"You are despicable, you know that, Jace Wayland_.". _You are despicable, Have I spoken these words before?"You are hiding a whole lot of things from me. Don't think I don't know"

"I don't need to be reminded countless of times that I am," He shoots back, "But do you have to be reminded over and over again that I do go by other names as well, one much… easier to the ears,"

And then just like that, another memory comes crashing its way into my head. One that involves a certain Jace who prefers to go by the name "Tempting' or.. "Ravishing'.. A dark deserted alley. ..The demon and it's strong glamour…The familiar scene of peppermint and sea breeze washing over me…. The taste of his lips on mine…sweet and gentle…

A wave of undiluted emotion rolls off me.

"Clary, What's wrong," Jace stands in front of me, gripping my shoulders with both hands. "Clary, answer me." He presses again, alarm in his voice

"You wanted me to forget," I whisper, my tone thick with accusation

"I thought perhaps it could-"

"No," I cut him mid-sentence, "You did more than just take my memory. You wanted me to forget I ever loved you"

"Clary, that's ridiculous."His arms fall to his sides.

"You and Aline kissing and all… It was just an act wasn't it?" I inhale sharply, "Perhaps a part of you wanted to know how I would react to it. But a bigger part of you..you wanted me to hate you. You want me to always remember that you are a player -" I look into his eyes. " But You are not. You love me. Jace, you do, don't you?"

He turns away, as though to avoid my gaze, "You don't know me. What I did back at the alley was a mistake. I shouldn't have kissed you. I love myself more than anything.. There isn't space in my heart for anyone else,"

"Liar," I whisper beneath my breathe, "You are lying"

"There's nothing you can do to prove it."

"Really?" This time it's me who edges closer. Before he can understand what I'm going to do, I crush my lips against his and I hear him draw in a startled breathe. And then, just like that he starts kissing me back. He pulls me closer to him ,snakes a hand around my neck and slides them into my hair. It's filled with passion, and need and-

And then it's all come to an end. He breaks free and stumbles backwards, his face ashen, stricken with horror. "Don't ever do that again,"

"Why?" I ask softly" Why are you so afraid give in to your heart's desires?" I might as well admit that I'm trembling a little. It's not really because of the cold…

"My only desire at the moment is to get beneath the covers of my warm bed," He says, " Come in, Clary. It's a wonder that you haven't frozen to death yet,"

* * *

**_A huge thank you to my reviewers (Littlebells, Thorntangle, Gabriel Dragonheart, SunAndMoonGuardian, babiixilyx3, shopaholic92, The District Sleeps Alone,Celestial witch, rOcKeRfOoL, Mcdoogle479(now applemonkeys 101.), EmOcUtIe530,Caligirl424,and Awesome hobo( I have been using 'Academy' instead of 'Institute' since Chapter 1 but come to think of it, Institute sure does sound better… Thanks for pointing it out), _**

**_ You people are the best. Your lovely lovely reviews totally made my day. I don't know how I can thank you enough for your constant support and I'm terribly sorry for the late update.  
_**

**_Like I said, I won't be able to update often due to my busy schedule right now. But once its over, possibly three weeks from now, I will be able to write more._****_(One chapter a week would be good enough for you, I hope?Oh wait, you want more?)_****_ So, please be patient with me. :)  
_**

**_Love,_**

**_Emiri-m.y._**

_**P.S. A little feedback would be great.**  
_


	7. Chapter 7

**My exams are finally over! Hurray! And thank you, thank you, thank you so so much for your lovely little reviews. Every single one of it. Love you all. :) And of course to those who have added my story to your favorite story list. You don't know how much this means to me..  
**

**Soooo, because I have been feeling extremely guilty, I have decided to make this chapter extra thick. Alright, not gonna hold you back any longer.. Go ahead and enjoy!**

**Kiss of Winter-Chapter 7**

I stifle a gasp as I step inside. To say that it is merely beautifully furnished is perhaps the understatement of the century. The walls are a rich shade of burgundy. The modern fireplace in a corner emits an ambient glow. A mural work is painted on the domed ceiling.

And the size.. Imagine a huge football field, roughly a hundred feet long and fifty feet wide. That's the size of the hall in his 'non-existent' house…. The massive bed pushed up against the walls on one corner catches my attention. No, so it's not quite a hall. A bedroom. _His_ bedroom, if you are keen on particulars. And I have never seen such a huge four-poster bed in my entire life. It's nearly the size of four king sized beds placed side by side. A light bulb goes off in my head. It's all to accommodate his pair of wings.

"See something you like?" He turns around to face me. A smirk works it way onto his lips. "Your jaw looks like it's going to drop. Do you need any help closing it?"

"Don't patronize me," I scowl. I think I have done a fair share of scowling these days.. But I guess where there's an arrogant bastard, there's a prickly bitch. "It's just that, I wasn't expecting any of these," I slide my fingers across the smooth surface of the mantel, marveling at its fine handiwork. It's of high-polished mahogany. I wonder where he gets his money from.

His eyebrows arch a little "Sorry they don't meet your expectations,"

"No, that's not what I meant. What I meant was.. you have..exquisite taste…" . Oh wait, of course he knows what I mean. The jaw-dropping comment he made earlier tells me that he already knows that I'm impressed. So… right, he wanted an outright appraisal and I foolishly gave it. I'm Conned. Duped. Again. Whatever.

His lips twitch and his eyes are alight with humor. It's as if he is enjoying some private joke. I don't care,really, except that most of the time, I feel that he is laughing at me.

"What's this? " I furrow my brows as I point at a framed painting hanging on the wall. It's a picture of a dark lone figure hunching over someone or something, I can't quite discern, in a 's familiar, like I have seen it somewhere before. I struggle to remember but nothing comes up..

"A painting," he mutters. "What else does it look like?"

"Hardly looks like one to me. You sure it's not some inane drawing done by a three-year-old kid" Ouch, maybe that was unnecessary. The painting may not have a professional look to it. But it's not that bad. What I'm merely looking for is a little payback.

He practically glowers at me.

"It's badly done… The brush strokes are uneven.. The color doesn't blend in nicely. " I feign an innocent front "Did you buy it from some online gallery? Or a wholesale market? Don't even bother with a refund, just burn it to ashes."

"I don't want a refund and I don't care if it's badly painted. I like it. Mind your own business," He shoots me a glare, capable of burning two symmetrical holes in my face.

He's being a tad bit too protective over his little painting.. Unless..Realizations slams down on me.. I have to stifle laughter, "I get it!" I whirl around and jab a finger in his chest, "You painted it. Oh my god, this is completely priceless. So that's what you do doing your free time? Painting? Do you do pottery too?"

He wraps his hands around my finger and tugs them away, " What I do during my free time is none of your business either, " Now, I'm going off to bed. And you can have the couch for the night. Its just right outside. I trust you can show yourself out,"

"Wait a minute. This wasn't what you said earlier. You told me I could have a room, remember?"

"That's before you decided to piss me off so bad,Fray girl."

"That's rather sore of you,." I glance around me. If this room is so spacious, I'm sure his entire house is gargantuan. And it wouldn't be difficult to find myself a nice, comfy room. He wouldn't even know.

"Are you thinking what I think you are thinking?"

"What do you think I'm thinking?"

He sigh. "No you can't"

"What?"

"No you can't go room hunting,"

"Why not. Because you keep a harem in one of the rooms and you are afraid I stumble upon your dirty little secret?"

"No, I shoved Valentine's dead body into one of the rooms and it should be infested by maggots now, I think"

"Really?"

"Bloody hell, Clary. You can't because this place has only got one bedroom. And it's mine,"He sounds exasperated.

"You are joking, " He has got to be joking. What kind of a house has got only one room, even when its 'non-existent'

"Look at me, " He says, "Do I look like I'm joking?"

I look hard. Shit. No. "Yes,"

"You know I'm not. So go sleep on that couch and be a good child for tonight, "

"I'm not a child. And don't you speak to me in that stupid condescending tone of yours, " I glare daggers at him.

"I can hardly speak in an appraising tone to you when you have done countless of unimaginably stupid mindless things-"

I blush. He is obviously referring to the kiss. I decide to try to steer clear of that topic.

"Alright, I'm going to pretend to be good and sleep on the couch. But my good behavior is only on a temporary lease. By temporary, I mean a day. That will give you about 24 hours to conjure up a room for me," I say as I walk towards the set of carved wooden doors that links his bedroom to a possible living room outside

"I'm an Angel not a bloody Magician," He scoffs, "Have you been filling your head with fantasies?"

"What I do doesn't concern you, " I shoot back at him. There 's no need to tell him about the bookcase next to my bed back in the Academy and that it's crammed tight with all my favorite fairy tales from when I was young. I'm not going to give him another reason to laugh at me,"But really, I'm sure you can get me a room if I'm stuck here… forever?"

"Not forever, Clary…"

His words continue to ring in my ears until exhaustion claims me and I fall into a fitful sleep. _Not forever, Clary… _ _What is forever? And what isn't?_

_

* * *

_

_It's him again…. No, not Valentine. Nor Ithuriel. Him. Jace. He's pacing in his cell and all the while mumbling something beneath his breath. There's a look of agitation on his face. My footsteps causes him to look up. "Clary?" he says "What are you doing here? It's dangerous" I shush him and jam the iron keys in my hands into the door of his cell. It flings open. _

"_There's no time to waste. Come on," I beckon to him to follow me."I know a way out," Even to my own ears, I sound so convincing. So sure of myself So... in control of things. However, beneath the calm facade is a sea of terror that's threatening to drown me.  
_

_He looks at me questioningly, "You know the way around here?" _

"_Yes," I whisper as I turn into a corridor and then take a couple of steps forward before kneeling on the cold stone floor to fumble with a small iron ring. It comes loose with a distinct click and I watch tensely as the stone floors pull apart to reveal a flight of stairs into the underground tunnel. It's a secret route out that I discovered when I was about thirteen and lessons with Valentine were so tough that I needed a break. So, I sneaked out every now and then. He doesn't know about it. Valentine._

" _Jace, do you trust me?"_

_His pair of tawny eyes flickers towards me and accesses me for a second, " I don't know if I should-"_

_I tense. _

"_But," he continues, " I do."_

_I turn around to hide the foolish smile tugging at my lips, '' Okay. We go down here. It will lead us to the surface again"_

"_Good. I'm starting to hate the musty smell of damp earth"_

"_I know," I really do know. Valentine used to cage me up when I rebelled and refused to attend lessons. I lead the way and Jace trails behind me. _

_Suddenly, there's a sudden whoosh. The tunnel is engulfed in protruding steel blades. They come out of the walls from both sides, as if we have just entered inside a demon's mouth. I escape with barely a scratch on my shoulders. A few feet back, and I would have been julienned. A few feet back… Jace? _

"_Jace!" I scream as I whirl around just in time to see the blades pull themselves out from his wings and disappear into the walls again. The holes on the stone walls close up and I'm left wondering, hoping perhaps that I am delusional. _

_His white wings are shredded beyond redemption. Blood oozes out of the multiple wounds. Drip. Drip. Drip. The crimson droplets fall onto the cold stone won't stop. Make it stop. Please make it stop._

"_Jace," I whimper as I take another step in his direction. _

"_Well done Clarissa. Well done indeed!" Valentine's deep and rich voice booms into my ears as he comes into sight. He walks past Jace as if he's invisible and claps my shoulders "You never seem to fail me" He smiles at me. A smile that doesn't quite reach the eyes. Of course he knows.. He knows I have betrayed him…_

"_Jace…" I take another step in his direction. His eyes are golden orbs boring into my own pair of green ones, questioningly. Why did you do it, Clary? They seem to say. Why?_

"_I didn't-" I start. I need to explain. Unbidden, tears start to roll down my face. He's in pain. He's dying. Don't let him die. Please. Please. I beg silently. _

_Valentine puts a death grip on my shoulders preventing movement of any sort. I try to pry his fingers off but they remain intact. "Boy, what does it feel like to have been betrayed by the one you love? "_

_.No. I shake my head silently, looking at him with widened eyes and begging for him to understand. _

"_Clary, -" Valentine continues, nodding his head in my direction, " is my daughter. Do you know that? No? I sent her to assassinate you, Jace Wayland. Make sure that you will never see the light of day again. I had her lead you here. And you- ," A malicious smile creeps onto his lips as he points a finger at the Jace, now crumpled on the floor. "You foolishly trusted her. You thought she loved you, didn't you?' _

"_Jace, its not like that,"_

"_How.. so?" His words, barely a whisper now, cut through me like a sharp razor blade. _

"_I…"_

"_Alright, the drama ends here, kids,"Valentine cuts me. To his armed men,he says "Don't touch the boy. Let him die a slow and agonizing death. An hour at-."_

_A sudden loud crash drowns his words. The world explodes into a roar of shattering bricks and tearing metal. Jace is lost in a mass of wings and he rises up into the dark blue skies, disappearing from sight. Everything happened so fast I am left wondering if it had been my imagination gone wild. But of course, it isn't. Those were his shadows. The group of Angels who dutifully protects him....  
_

_

* * *

_

My eyes spring open. I bring my shaking hands to my face and find that they are damp with tears and suddenly, I'm filled with a chilling certainty that it had been more that just a dream. Or a nightmare. It's a part of me. My memory.

I pull the covers away and head for his room. I didn't get a chance to explain then. I have to . Before it's too late again.

_**Jace's Point Of View**_

I pace back and forth in my room. Jittery? I don't sense Valentine anywhere near. Worried? Clary is sound asleep on the couch, wrapped in thick white duvet covers like a burrito. No reason to be jittery. No reason to be the slightest bit worried either. But I'm feeling them both.

A knock on my door interrupts my trail of thoughts.

"Clary?" I say, pulling the doors open " Aren't you supposed to be as-,' That's when I notice the look on her face - The puffy red eyes. The tears pooling in her eyes as she swipes them away with the back of her hand in a hurried manner, as though.. it isn't meant for me to see it.

"Is something wrong?" I say carefully , trying to maintain the calmness in my voice, even though it's breaking me apart to see her in such a state. I want to pull her into my arms and assure her that everything will be alright, that I will not let anyone lay a finger on her. But is it the right thing to do? What is?

"Jace," she says, catching my eyes and looking straight into them with an intensity that sends shivers down my spine. "There's something-" Her voice catches in her throat. She tries again, "There's something I need to tell you"

"What is it, Clary?" The anguish in her voice demands my full attention.

She bites her lips nervously "Do you remember the incident in the… the underground tunnel? The one I said was a secret route out of Valentine's prison?"

That explains it. Another bit of her memory has resurfaced during her sleep, the knowledge acquired penetrating her hazy awareness " The memory is getting a bit rusty,"

"Its fading…but still there right?" She reaches the conclusion herself without waiting for another answer. " I didn't… I didn't betray you to Valentine. I really meant to help you escape"

"That didn't seem like it," My features harden involuntarily. After all these years, will I be finally getting the reason to her betrayal? Understand the reasons to the choices she had made? I wait for an answer from her.

"I didn't know how Valentine came to know about the tunnel… When I helped you escape from the cell, I have already made up my mind to…" She swallows. Her hands are clenched into small white fists. Unclenched. And then clenched again.

"Jace ..I realized some time back then that I couldn't kill you. I realized that.. I would have to fail Valentine. That I would do anything within my power to ensure your in the end, I couldn't t do anything." Her voice has sunk to a barely audible whisper now as she tears her eyes away from me and stares down at her knotted fingers.

"Clary.. I.." I stop for a moment, unsure of the right words to say.

She shifts uncomfortably." I just wanted you to know that I didn't… that killing you wasn't on my mind then… " She trails off, "That's all actually. So that you can stop calling me the black pot and claim yourself as the angelic kettle," She shrugs hastily and plasters a smile on her face. It's a weak attempt at trying to assure me that she's alright.

She doesn't wait for me to say anything. Instead she turns around and walks away. She may have sounded fine, but the look in her eyes and her slumped shoulders tell me otherwise. She's hurt. Badly.

I slump against the walls and bury my face in my hands, trying to straighten things out. Do I believe her when she says she wasn't involved in Valentine's idea of a final showdown back at the underground tunnel? I allow myself to think about it. All this while, I have refused to answer that one question. I take a deep breathe. _Do you trust me? _The exact words she had spoken echo in my head, bouncing of the cavern of my skull, demanding an answer.

The question was answered a long time ago. And the answer remains the same. I do. Trust her. This girl by the name of Clary Fray.

Then why do I keep trying to hurt her? Why am I keeping her at arm's length?

Because…because I am furious.

No, not furious that she worked for that that Devil, Valentine

Furious because.. I have to see her die over and over again, have to watch her memories being snatched from her repeatedly when she eventually remembers….. And it's been going on like this for the past sixty years.

Three lifetimes. Three deaths. Three lost chances.

And she doesn't know about it...

About how painful it is to be watching the one you love die. Not once. Not twice. But thrice...

**A/N: Yes, I'm sure you realized that a part of this chapter is on Jace's P.O.V. The idea was proposed by magic_noctum and seconded by littlebells. Oh, there's something I need to inform you… I will be posting up a chapter of Kiss of Winter on a weekly basis from today onwards. I figured it will make things easier for some of you anonymous readers out there and as for the rest of you, how do you like this new arrangement?**

**Review, darling chickens. It might prompt me to conjure another chapter before my Saturday dateline…  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:Oh, hey look! I kept my promise. =) First of all, thank you for reviewing, each and every one of you. It really means the world to me. And always, I love you all for the support you have shown. The response to the previous chapter was indeed a little...chilly, but I have no one to blame except for myself.  
**

**Oh, and before I forget, let me answer Lindsey's question. I'm so sorry I didn't make it clear enough for you. Jace wanted to clarify Clary's true intentions. He thought that Clary was under Valentine's order to pretend to help him escape via the underground route. Remember the sharp steel blades and the broken wings? It's actually the entire dream in Chapter 7. Hope my answer is satisfactory. If there's anything else, you are free to ask. :)  
**

**Asdfghjkl, (Random much?), yes, my bad for putting off this story for so long. I can assure you it won't happen again. Cross my heart..**

* * *

_**Kiss of Winter: Chapter 8**_

**Jace**

A sudden knock on my windows jolts me out of my reverie.

Squinting out into the darkness of the winter night, I can roughly form the outline of a figure, so familiar to my eyes. Midnight blue wings seem to satiate the entire space as he leans against the balcony railings. Sebastian.

I give him a slight nod and he pushes the windows open to come inside.

Such politeness. Even after the bond of friendship that has been forged between us when he nearly sacrificed his life to protect me in a massacre hundreds of years ago. Ever since then, he has become my Alpha Shadow. The others act under his orders and I do not have to question his loyalty to me. He has proven his worth and the least I can do is to trust him. Again, the word, trust.

He comes to my side in one swift motion. "There's someone else here." How observant of him. I do not enjoy him prying into my personal matters but of course, I understand that it is necessary to keep me safe from Valentine. In fact, it has, Countless of times.

A smile tugs at my lips. " Doesn't sound to me like the right words to speak to someone you haven't seen for nearly a month,"

He eyes me and then his mouth curves a little. "Yes, that. So-" He claps me on the back, "Hey, buddy. Nice to see you again,"

"Good to know that I'm not attending your burial ceremony," When you haven't heard from someone for nearly a month, you tend to think that the worst has happened.

His brows furrow, " Back at you. It's a female. Spit it out before I go barging out of this door and point a knife at her neck." He throws me a glance, " And trust me, I will do just that if you-,"

"Sebastian," I cut him "Haven't you gotten a cure for your recklessness?"

"Well?"

"It's Clary, "

"What?"

"I'm very sure you heard me. I said it's Clary,"

His eyes widen in surprise, "Oh.."

I raise an eyebrow at him "Is that all you can manage?"

"I'm sorry, I know it's hard on you,"

My lips are pursed into a thin line. He is launching into one of his pity talks again and I don't think I need to hear that at the moment.

He shakes his head, "You are a magnet for danger, you know that? After what she did that time…" He trails of as if unsure whether to continue, "You sure you will be save around her? I'm seriously contemplating between rushing to the hall this instance to end her life myself and throwing her in Ithuriel's face. Either one spells death for her. The only difference is that one is quicker than the other,"

"Sebastian," I look at him straight in the eye, "You do that and you are out of the team,"

"That bad huh?" He huffs "Give me a good reason and 'because I love her' doesn't count,"

"Whoever gave you that idea?"

"I'm not blind," He sighs inwardly, "I'm starting to wonder if keeping you alive is an impossible task. You are after all in love with your assassin. "His eyes flicker towards the door, "The star-crossed lovers…What a pity,"

"She's not at fault." I scowl.

"Really now," He rolls his eyes.

"Yes," And so to keep his mouth shut and to do him a favor of preventing his eyeballs from falling out of his sockets from too much rolling, I decide to give him a summarized version of Clary's explanation, cutting out parts which I deem not fit for him to know.

He listens attentively, letting me explain right to the end before letting out another "Oh.."

"Yes, an 'oh' is exactly what I'm expecting to hear from you…Which means you owe her an apology for the contempt you have shown her over the years,"

He nods in agreement, "Maybe…But what about you?"

"Apologize?" I ask in bewilderment.

"Yes,"

"That has never crossed my mind,"

"It has now," A smirk stretches across his lips "And just a reminder, buddy, you might want to stake your claim before someone else does. He still pines for her, you know"

"You don't mean.. Simon?"

"That's exactly who I meant"

Simon is another member of my Shadows. Intelligent , conscientious and loyal, he is perhaps one of the most talented of my protectors. The only thing he did wrong was to fall in love with Clary. She saw him as an opening to get to me. And he love-sick as he was fell for it...

The silence that stretches out between us seems like forever.

"What brings you here?" I ask Sebastian who is leaning against the wall with a big Cheshire grin on his face.

"Oh, that.." He is all seriousness now. "I nearly forgot. Clary's presence is a big distraction"

I urge him to continue.

"I'm here to deliver a message to you,"

"From?"

"Aline,"

"Turned sides now have you?"

A look of hurt crosses his features. It's brief-momentary, but there nonetheless. "You can't possibly mean that,"

"Well, no I don't. But, Aline? You and I both know she's with Valentine. Can't blame me for thinking the worse, can you?"

"Probably not. But listen, this is important," His voice drops into a whisper. "Aline wants to see you in private,"

"What if I say no,"

He considers my answer for a moment, "No, that cannot do. We have to see her,"He finally replies.

"I'm in no mood for it today,"

"Jace… trust me on this one. I will not put you in harm's way"

I look into his eyes and finally give in, "Alright, you better be right about this,"

Involuntarily, my eyes flicker towards the doors.. Sebastian follows my gaze.

"She will be alright,"

"I'm not worried about that,"

"Whatever you say," He throws me a grin.

"Another grin and I will throw a punch across your pretty face," I mutter

"Lets's go,"

* * *

**Clary**

Thin slivers of sunlight pour through the windows, pressing at the edges at the drapes. The sky is a deep, melancholic blue today as it showers snowflakes onto the earth, carpeting it with their beauty and grace. I can feel it- see it even with my eyelids close. Hasn't it always been like that during the cold, harsh and unforgiving wintry days?

I force my eyes open. Normally on mornings like this where hunting demons with Izzy becomes a must, nothing can possibly depress me. Then, there are days when you feel frustration, cold and gloom twisting into a heavy knot in your stomach and you know nothing will go right. Today is one of those days.

The sharp clarity of the dream last night continues to plague me like a disease. One that sticks to my mind, no matter how hard I try to forget. A sudden wave of dizziness washes over me I place my fingers onto my temples and massage lightly.

Fresh air. I need fresh air.

I spring up from the couch and head for the glass windows, sliding it open and stepping out into the porch. A porch like any other except that it is four feet high above ground. Cold slivers through me and a blast of icy wind hits me squarely in the face. But it's not working. I can feel the bile rising up my throat now, coating the tip of my tongue with a bitter taste.

Descending down the flight of stairs at a speed that can knock over a herd of cows, I try to shake away the vague dread that clings to me like a second skin. Faster. Faster. Until I'm panting from exhaustion by the time I reach the end and find myself surrounded by a beautifully landscaped garden, now one foot covered with snow. And yet, the feeling hasn't gone away.

Maybe it's a bad idea to be outside and be bathing in snowflakes after all. Maybe I should retire inside, swallow two aspirins and snuggle up on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate.

And that's when I hear the scream- a blood-curdling scream that sends my hair standing on ends. A tiny voice at the back of my head shouts at me to seek refuge in the stone building with its magical protection.

Curiosity gets the better of me. And perhaps, in the near future, I will regret making that one decision.

Peeking over the hedge, I watch the scene unfold before my eyes. A chill creeps up my spine and it feels like the crawling of a hundred spidery fingers. My stomach lurch. I can't speak. I can't move. I squeeze my eyes shut before opening them away, willing for it to be another one of my dreams. It isn't, or so I think.

An arrow is lodged in his chest. His breathing is heavy and ragged. A stream of words comes out from his barely moving mouth. I catch only one word. My name.

Jace.

Having regained full use of my legs, I dash to the other side of the garden. I push open the wrought iron gate that swings from a single hinge. It creaks in protest. I know that I'm out of the protection field. But it doesn't matter. Nothing else matters except him. Jace. Jace. Jace. His name resonates in my head. He has to be alright. Maybe it's just a beside him, I cradle his head in my lap.

And then at my touch he vanishes into thin air. A gasp escapes my lips.

Another voice speaks in my head.

_Is that all it takes for to come out of your safe little home? An illusion_

I recognize this voice instantly. It's deep and foreboding. And ancient. Raziel. The arch angel I stroke a bargain with. And it's stupid, probably. But I feel….glad. It's an illusion Just an illusion. Jace is somewhere out there, safe and sound. Probably even snuggled in his big comfy bed, dreaming. It's alright. Everything will be alright.

_Jace Wayland tried to keep you safe from me. From Valentine. But he overlooked something. The one person he couldn't keep you safe from is himself. What a pity.  
_

A wave of frantic helplessness is building inside me, threatening to turn tidal. The pain in my head is growing by the second and suddenly I am feeling so nauseous that I can hardly think.

"Get. Out. Of. My. Head." I say through gritted teeth. Mustering all my strength I can manage, I try to form a barrier in my mind, blocking out his voice.

_Such defiance. I will see to it that you are punished. Keep in mind that I will come back for you again._

He's gone. Before I can even heave a sigh of relief, darkness takes me under its surface. I find myself slipping into depths of unconsciousness.

There's something soft beneath me. Is this what heaven is like? Maybe I'm dead. For good. I'm floating on mint-smelling clouds. I didn't know clouds have got a scent…

No, of course they don't. My eyes shoot open and find themselves looking into a pair of tawny ones. He's peering down at me with a worried expression on his face. And then it changes into a look of amusement. And that smirk.. I wonder if a punch in his jaw will wipe out the smirk.

"How long have I been out?" I croak through my dry, chapped, lips. Under his penetrating gaze, I'm suddenly conscious of how I look. I have bad bed head. I know that. Maybe, I was drooling too.. Or sleep-talking… That will explain the stupid smirk.

"A couple of hours," He replies nonchalantly, as though commenting on the weather.

"I was having a major headache out there," I explain.

"I know,"

"What else do you know?"

"That it isn't just a headache"

He ponders for a while, as though troubled on whether he should tell me more " You were feeling nauseous because of Valentine's presence,"

"Raziel, you mean?"

A look of shock crosses his features. A muscle in his jaw jumps. That's the closest I have ever seen to him being mad.

"Raziel couldn't have penetrated your thoughts unless you…" He turns to stare at me with a pair of unforgiving eyes. "You stepped out of the protection field, didn't you?"

"Where..where did you find me?"

" In the garden,"

"I think I fainted out there. Out on the roads. Not the garden,"

"I found you in the garden, nearly frozen to death," He almost sound like a petulant child. "Forget it. I will just have to lock you up in here,"

"You can't do that,"

His lips are pressed into thin lines, "I can. And I will," He pauses for a moment "What did Raziel say to you?"

He told me that he's coming back for me. "Nothing,"

He gives me the evil eye, " Really now. I will find out for myself. You mark my words,"

I cringe. "You were saying that I was feeling nauseated because of Valentine. Why?"

He huff "His blood flows in your veins. As his daughter, you inherit quite a large portion of his power. The both of you are like a pair of magnets, repelling each 's the repulsion that's causing the....discomfort"

"I don't remember this…feeling when I was..under him."

"You have turned sides now. It's a little like the..principle of the Yin and Yang"

"Oh.." So I'm like a Valentine detector now. Perrfectt. To get me killed, because I have a feeling it works both ways. I suppose he can detect me too.

"I have something to tell you." He diverts his gaze. "Aline called on me a while back,"

"Oh.." He raises an eyebrow at me, "And?" I feign interest.

"She's willing to come to our side..Help us bring down Valentine. She knows a fair bit about Valentine's current plans. With her help, we might just succeed"

"What's the catch?" But even before I hear him speak the words, I already know what is coming.

"Clary, she's coming to stay here, with us.. and I have agreed,"

* * *

**Alright, we have come to an , how was it? You hate it don't you. Having Aline around..But then again, Clary here isn't someone who is easily trampled on. What do you think she will do to protect what is rightfully hers?Maybe Aline's presence will only make things more interesting..Mmmm...I wonder..  
**

**Until the next week, guys. Unless, of course, I decide to post earlier. ;)**

**Please review. I would love to hear from you :)**

**Love,**

**Emiri-m.y.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you for the lovely reviews. As usual, I love them all. I really really do. And it makes me all warm and fluffy inside, knowing that you enjoy reading this fanfic. Alright, without furthur ado... Chapter Nine!**

**Amendment. I edited this as soon as I read Celestialwitch's review. I didn't notice the flaw earlier.I'm so so glad she pointed it out. So for you who have read this a couple of hours ago, you might realize that there is a minor change in the last 400 words or so.  
**

**

* * *

**_**Recap:** "She's willing to come to our side..Help us bring down Valentine. She knows a fair bit about Valentine's current plans. With her help, we might just succeed"_

_ "What's the catch?" But even before I hear him speak the words, I already know what is coming._

_ "Clary, she's coming to stay here, with us.. and I have agreed,"_

**

* * *

**

Sitting cross-legged on the couch, I focus my attention on the snowflakes falling outside. The sight disturbingly mesmerizing-hypnotic, so much so that the core reason to why I'm not doing something more useful like discussing with Jace on the _101 _ways to protect my ass from Raziel nearly slips from my mind. Right.

"Oh, Jace. It's so good to see you again, _ma bien-aimee_," Aline. Her low, sultry voice floats into my ears. My grip on the velvety material of the couch tightens considerably. A swift look at it confirms my suspicions. My knuckles have turned white.

Get a grip on yourself, Clary. What they do have nothing to do with you. Focus your thoughts elsewhere. Look, such pretty little snowflakes…Hmm, French, huh…_ma bien aimee?.. _Doesn't that run along the lines of _my beloved_. Pain shoots through my jaw. Chill, Clary. Chill. The pain subsides. But only a little.

"Come on. Let's go in," It's Jace's voice now. Flat and monotone, giving away none of his feelings. The windows slide open and the both of them step inside.

Aline catches sight of me but she swiftly averts her gaze, refusing to acknowledge my presence. Instead, she places her hand on Jace's arm ( no doubt caressing his steely biceps) " Jace, why is she here?" She whispers loud enough for me to hear, a pout on her pink glossy lips.

"I never said she won't be around, " Jace answers, mindlessly pushing a silky length of her raven black hair behind her ears.

"But she-"

"Shut up," Catapulting from the couch, I march up to them, determined to make every inch of my five feet two count. "I have had enough of the both of you. Don't you dare talk to me as if I'm invisible. I have a name, you know. It's _Clary_. Not just _she,"_

"Anything else?" Jace asks, his voice laced with fatigue and boredom.

Anything else? "No, I think that's it," Jace has been giving me the cold shoulders ever since the day he informed me of Aline's plan to stay with us. His message cannot be clearer. Brand new and shiny raven-haired toys are better pNlaythings. Two can play the game. I don't need his protection. Izzy, Alec and Magnus will help me out of the knotty predicament I am in. In fact, I don't believe I can't manage on my own. My gaze slides to Aline's empty hands, "Where are your things?"

She turns her nose up with a little sniff, " Tell her, Jace.. Here's a hint though-," She says still not looking at me, " The shirt you are wearing is mine," The glee in her voice is palpable.

"no, it isn't. _He _says Izzy brought it ove-," The look on Jace's face silences me immediately. Of course it was another lie.

"It's Aline's. She left her stuff here the last time she came over. Figured you wouldn't put it on if I told you it was hers," Jace explains with brows furrowed.

_The last time she came over._ An icy wave of an emotion so intense hits me squarely in my stomach. Anger, frustration and something else. Jealousy? In the depths of my mind, a prick of suspicion makes itself felt. Doesn't Jace know that Aline worked for Valentine then? Wait, he knows. So why..Does..does he love her? That has got nothing to do with you either, Clary. I swallow.

"Alright,so tell me, Aline, what are Valentine's current plans?" I ask with arms crossed, trying to hold on to my mask of composure "Does he already know about the 'Non-Existant''? Now that you have failed him, he's gonna come for you, isn't he? What next, send in another seducer? Someone has to tell him his ideas are rotten to the core."

For once, Aline's face looks ashen, "I've already told Jace what I know."

"I want in," I say, trying to keep my voice down. I will have to talk to _him_ about keeping things from me.

Jace muses. " Funny how you phrase it… _seducer_." Heat creeps into my cheeks, coloring it crimson. Even my ears are hot. Thank god my hair is long enough to hide it from view. He continues, " You're-,"

"I'm not a seducer,"

His pair of tawny, obsidian eyes glints with amusement. " I meant to say you're so…entertaining,"

I scowl. "We will talk about Valentine later," Turning around, I head for the windows and the freedom on the other side of it.

"Eleven. Tonight. I can only spare you half an hour of my time," Jace says. "And another thing.."

I stop in my tracks. "What?"

"Sleeping arrangements,"

"What has it got to do with me? Your bed is big enough to fit the both of you," I reply warily.

"Share your couch with Aline,"

Annoyance sharpened into anger. " Can't do. This is ridiculous. The couch isn't big enough to fit the both of us"

"Aline retires early. As soon as the sun sets, she will have to sleep. But only for a couple of hours. The couch is yours to claim for the rest of the night"

"Sleeping disorder? Is that why I don't see you around much after dusk back at the academy?" I muse.

"Jace, " Aline wails, tugging at his sleeve and ignoring me, "Can't I share your bed?"

" I've business to attend to. See you ladies tonight," he says, gently brushing aside her question, "Remember, Clary. Eleven,"

"You will answer all my questions?"

Jace draws in a sharp breathe. "If you are ready for it, "

* * *

A quick glance at the pendulum clock tells me its only ten. Another hour to go. Another sixty minutes before the final pieces of the puzzle fall into place

_You will answer all my questions?_

_If you are ready for it._

Am I? For the past seventeen years, I have been living a lie. This is the chance to claim my true identity. Will the truth be too hard to bear? Will it shatter my entire existence? Will it change anything-everything? Am I really ready for this?

I am.

Fifty-eight minutes to go. I give up. Stepping up to the set of double doors, I wrap my fingers around the doorknob and give it a twist. The door slides open.

"Umm..Jace-,"

The sight that greets my eyes turns my blood cold.

Aline lies on the bed with flushed cheeks and eyes filled with desire and need. The last button on her blouse has come undone. Her long legs are wrapped around a torso so achingly familiar. Jace's. He weaves his slender fingers into her raven-black tangled hair and pushes her closer to him as he presses his mouth against her neck. And up to her mouth. She moans in ecstasy.

I grip the edge of the wooden door for support. Remember what we said earlier? This has nothing to do with you, Clary. Nothing at , just take a deep breath and turn around. Walk away.

"Clary.."His voice floats into my ears, shock evident in his voice. The sound of my name slipping from his lips sends another wave of anguish washing over me, drowning me. I cling tenaciously to my last thread of sanity in my sea of pain. Please, don't say another word. I don't want to listen. Raising both my hands, I clamp it over my ears and do the only thing I can think of. Run.

I can hear him coming up to me. His fingers lock around my wrist and my first reaction is to shake them off with a ferocity that startled even me. I have no right to be angry-no right to be upset even. The realization burnt going down and settles like a rock in my stomach. I let my hands fall to my sides. " I'm sorry. I shouldn't have acted that way. I have no right to," I whisper.

He presses a finger onto my cheeks and wipes a tear away. "Look at me," he says, lifting my chin up. "Say it again."

"Say what?"

"That you don't have a right to be angry," His penetrating gaze sends a shiver down my spine.

"Go back. She's waiting for you."

"She has left," He shakes my shoulder gently, "Say it,"

"Why? Why do you want me to say it? What difference will it make?"

He closes his eyes and blows out a frustrated breath." Because you have all the right to be angry,"

"Stop fooling around with me,"

"I think we need to talk,"

I blink. " About Valentine? Can't it wait till tomorrow?"

"No," he says, a hint of impatience and resolve in his voice, "About us. There are things you need to know,"

Hearing him say 'us' sends a warm tingle down my spine. "Do you love Aline?" I breathe. The question takes him by surprise. I bite on the inside of my cheeks so hard that blood trickles out, lacing the tip of my tongue with a metallic taste.

Silence.

"Sorry. None of my business," I force a thin smile onto my lips even though I'm crumbling inside. Bit by bit.

"I care for her,"

"That wasn't my questi-,"

"Don't you think its weird that when I kiss her, it's you I have in mind? Your face, your voice dominate my thoughts all the time." He looks into my eyes and absentmindedly runs his finger through his messy hair.. I feel my breathe hitch in my throat "I thought that maybe doing that would take my mind of you even for a little while. Aline is like a drug to me.. she drowns away my pain "

The bleak rawness of his words brings tears to my eyes. There's so much sorrow leaking out of it. "So you are trying to tell me that you did it because you wanted a distraction? You needed me out of your mind? When was I ever _on_ your mind?You and your pretty little excuses. I hate how you're making feel, Jace Wayland. H-how you mess with my emotions. Lead me to believe that I don't mean anything to you one second and then the next moment, you are telling me this. And then you speak of pain. What..what pain?"

"The pain of not being able to have the one person I truly love-" His voice softens. I can almost hear the slight constriction in his throat, "Clary, you have no idea... how much..how much I want you, But you will never be mine. Do you know what it feels like? To watch you remember and only to have the memories of your past taken away again?" He lowers his head and places his cool lips on the damp spot beneath my eyes. " Raziel is right...I cannot protect you. Clary, why didn't you tell me about Raziel's warning?"

Is that the reason for his anger? Because I didn't tell him that Raziel would eventually come back for me? Wait a moment… " H-how did you know?" Raising my hand, I quickly brush away my tears.

" When you are asleep.. your mind barrier weakens considerably. I took that opportunity to find out the contents of the conversation between you and Raziel. It was wrong, but necessary," He hesitates for a moment before continuing, " You planned to keep that a secret, didn't you. Am I to find out about it only when you're...missing? Learn that I have failed once again to protect you? Wait another seventeen years before the cycle repeats itself?" His voice tightens with each question.

" I-I just didn't want you to worry"

"You thought maybe you are more than capable of protecting yourself? You thought perhaps your friends at the academy will help you out? You're wrong" Anger, frustration and a jumble of mixed emotions flash across his face.

"Who are you to tell me what is wrong and what, right?" I look at him in an act of defiance.

He furrow his brows, " God, you frustrate the hell out of me at times, woman,"

"Oh, wow, I feel so honored. I'm a woman now huh? Not a she. Not a_ little girl_?"

"You have always been a woman to me," The timbre to his voice sends a tingling down my neck. It is so bizarre and shocking a sensation that it's almost paralyzing

Very gently, he places his hands around my waist and brings me closer to him. I gulp at his touch and feel my knees go weak. A mere second later and his lips are on mine, hot, sensual and delightful, filled with promise and passion and yet still achingly tender. I startle.

Pulling apart, I look into his eyes, "Do-do you know what I feel like doing right now? I want to punch you. How dare you do this to me after...after your make-out session with Aline!" Without another word, I raise my fist and hit it on his chest repeatedly."You. Can't. Do. This." I feel moisture clouding my vision. Gritting my teeth together, I try to remind myself that I have to be strong. But the tears flow anyway." Just don't touch me, Jace. Leave me alone, will you."

He stands still, allowing me to vent my anger with an unfathomable expression on his face. When I'm finally done, he pulls me into his arms and wraps his solid arms around me."I hate you" I whisper into his chest. My words are muffled by the soft material of his shirt that clings to his skin. Despite that, he heard it.

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I know I shouldn't have done that. I don't know what came over me. I just..."He trails of. "I'm sorry, Clary."

"This is supposed to be wrong isn't it, Jace. Being with you..Feeling hurt when you are with Aline. It's wrong, isn't it. So..so why does it feel so…right?"

He lifts my chin up and whisper into my ears, " This is where you belong, Clary. By my side. Forever and ever. Don 't even think of running away. I will hunt you down to the end of the world"

Forever and ever. In his arms, I feel alive. I feel whole.I feel safe. I have him and maybe, he's all that's left of me...

But.. there's still Aline. Who is she to him? Who am I to him?

"Jace, let..let go, please," He tenses for a while. Slowly, he releases his hold." I can't do this. I'm sorry." I whisper to him.

I can feel that he's sorry too. For what he has done....But I'm not the forgiving type.

"Let's give each other some time to sort out our feelings. I really...want you to think this over,"

He gives me a brief nod, "Yes, lets," Turning around, he heads for his bedroom.

I didn't know then that that will be the last I will see of him for a long long time to come....Because if I do.... Maybe,just maybe, I will find room in my heart to forgive him...

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**How do you like it? **

**Oh, and Merry Christmas, everyone!Hope you all have a lovely one!**

**Do me a favor and Review!I need to hear your thoughts on this chapter. Whee...I'm so excited... =) Looking forward to writing the next chapter... Oh, if there are any questions, ask away..  
**

**XOXO, **

**Emiri-m.y.**


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N: **As usual, thank you all for the reviews. (I hope you don't find this constant repetition boring) Special thank yous to TheaterofTragedy and LittleBells who have to constantly listen to my rantings  
_ and also to those who have stayed with me since the beginning of this fic.

_Lola: Yes, I wrote that little paragraph in bold and thank you for your reviews. I would love to e-mail you answers.. except well, you didn't attach an e-mail add to your review. .._

_Your Gaurdian Angel: Thank you =)  
_

_hoolaHOOLA: Stupid of me for making Clary stupid. I'm glad you still find it enjoyable. Oh, and please have a look at the edited version of Chapter 9, provided you haven't._

_TooLazyToSignIn: Yup, here's an update before New Years. =)_

_This is **important**, please don't skip it. Now, look at the recap and if you think it isn't what you have read in Chapter 9, please go back to the previous chapter and re-read the last three hundred words or so. It's Right at the ending. About forty of you were unlucky enough to have read the rather unbelievable version of Chapter9. And I'm really really sorry. As for the rest of you,, what are you waiting for.. Read on!_

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**Recap:** "Let's give each other some time to sort out our feelings. I really...want you to think this over,"

He gives me a brief nod, "Yes, lets," Turning around, he heads for his bedroom.

I didn't know then that that will be the last I will see of him for a long long time to come....Because if I do.... Maybe,just maybe, I will find room in my heart to forgive him...

* * *

** Kiss of Winter-Chapter 10**

"Who are you?" I ask, scanning the six feet three figure from top to toe, taking in the black hair falling loosely around a broad intelligent jaw, the straight nose, the little knowing smirk playing on the intruder's lips and the pair of midnight blue wings. I've awoken a couple of minutes ago to find him propped up against the wall at the far end of the room.

"Hello, Clary. Been a while since I last saw you. But I'm hurt you don't remember me at all," He approaches me and extends his arm for a handshake. "Sebastian. Jace's Shadow,"

"I don't know you, " I state defiantly

"You did. Once upon a time." He lets his arm fall to his sides when he realizes I have no intention of taking it. "Listen, Clary, I'm not here for a session of frolicking with you. Jace is in deep trouble. Thought you might want to know that, "

A tsunami of emotion comes rushing over me at the mere mention of his name. I hate it that he has got that kind of control over me. And I hate myself for it. "Why ever?" I hear my voice crack the slightest.

"His life is at stake. Aline gave us adequate information on Valentine's whereabouts a couple of days ago. Jace is regrouping all Shadows and other volunteers who are willing to give him all the support required in his quest to jump in on Valentine… kind of like a surprise attack. It was going to work out just fine… could possibly have been a success even.. " He trails of, a little hesitant to continue.

"But?" I push.

He smiles, "Yes, there is always a but isn't it.. Rumors are Valentine has learned of the attack. How, I don't know.. And also that he has prepared his own troop. His army.. We call them the dark ones. Angels who have gone over the bad side. "

"So, Jace's plan will have to come to a halt? Doesn't sound like he's' in deep trouble' to me. There're always more chances in the future." Now that my bitchy _couch_ 'friend', Aline is around to feed us with information. I didn't say that, of course.

"_Should_ come to a halt. But Jace wants it done and over with as soon as possible. Says that it's been too long and that time is running out for him." Leaning in a little, Sebastian lowers his voice to a hushed whisper, "Valentine's powers grow with each passing day and it's going to endanger earthkind. He wants to eliminate them. And then rule Earth. Make it his.. You have heard about the prophecy?.."

"Valentine did mention something about it. But I'm not too sure,"

An expression, one I can only name as dark amusement flits across his features. "Only the child of Light can undo the evil in that of the Dark. And hence the Angels, our brethren name it The Battle between Light and Dark. It has been on the cards for nearly a century now. But Valentine is strong. And well, he's as slippery as an eel. Hard to catch him unaware"

"How is Jace the child of Light?"

"Jace is True Blood. The child of two Angel parents. The only one we have had for a century.' He pauses to allow me to process the little nugget of information head before continuing, 'The rest of us are Made,"

I gasp. I've known all along that Valentine has been keeping a lot from me, making sure that I know as little as possible. Scratch that. Making sure that_ all_ his followers know as little as possible. Easier to mess with our minds that way I supposed.

"Made as in _made_ ?"

He lets out a rich laugh, "No, we are not made in…factories if that's what you mean. They pump angel blood into us. We were human once too"

I furrow my brows. "Wait, Sebastian, you said something about.. Jace running out of time to do it?Why?"

He gasps, eyes widening in sincere surprise, "You… don't know?"

I scowl in irritation, "No I don't. No one ever bothered telling me anything."

"Angels are different.. from humans. They are immortals, yes. Hence, there is no such thing as death for them." He pauses for a moment. I notice he uses the term 'they' when he talks about angels-his race, as if he, isn't one of them. "But they experience something… else. Once a century old, they enter hibernation mode. It's alright I guess, except that when they awaken, they have no recollections of their past."

Jace."How long?" Fear and anguish is straining my voice to breaking point. Stringing a complete and coherent sentence feels impossible

"How long? The hibernation, you mean. It depends on the individual. Some take a couple of years. Others have been known to take twenty to fifty years.. Oh wait, you mean, how long before Jace goes into hibernation mode." He places a finger on his chin as though deep in thoughts. There's something about him that screams danger, but I can't quite place my finger on it. " I'd say another three months or so.."

A lump rockets up my throat and grows reinforcements as the realization sinks in. I can't talk. I can't breathe. The world seems to have halted and I skid through its stillness,frightened and I finally look up, I see a glint of something in his eyes. Amusement. My gut instinct is telling me that something is amiss.

"If Jace goes into hibernation mode, Valentine will to . So why is it that Jace is the only one who is out of time?"

"Valentine is an archangel now. He will have to hibernate eventually. But he's strong enough to put it of for a little while. Whereas Jace, well, Jace can't. He will succumb to Sleep and forthat period of time, hell will reign when Valentine takes over,"

"We need to get to Jace before he does something stupid," I grab Sebastian's arms and march him outside. To hell with anything else. I have to get so Jace as soon as possible and talk him out of it. "There's still three months. Tell me this has got nothing to do with raging testosterone"

He rolls his eyes at me and crosses his arms across his chest. I can't help thinking that that's the most girlish thing I have ever seen. " If it has, you would most likely be in his bed,"

"Whatever. C'mon. Can you be a little quicker?" I wave at him from the wrought-iron gate. He comes to my side in one swift motion and gives me a not-so-gentle push. "What was that for?" I look at him with a look of disbelief on my face.

He smiles, far too sweetly to be real. And that's when I finally realize what's amiss. "Your wings…." I gasp in surprise. "They have disappeared!" If I was a five-year-old kid I would have thought that this was an incredible magic trick. But I'm seventeen. I have seen more magic than silly old tricks. The word 'magic' no longer co-exist with 'tricks'. " Who are you?"

"I'm… me." He smirks. A gleeful expression etched onto his handsome features.

"You are not Sebastian. Who. Are. You?"

"Watch "

The color of his skin lightens into a pale creamy white. He seems to be shrinking in size. In fact, with his now almond shaped eyes , silky long black hair, and pretty little body curves he reminds me of a she. " And now I see recognition in your eyes, _Clarissa_. Took you long enough to realize. I'm so hurt" The she-thing coos, twirling a lock of her hair in her fingers. Aline.

"What are you? A-a shape-shifter?" I ask, trying to hide my anxiety and…fear. Fear of this being before me. All this while, I have never bothered knowing what she is. And now, I regret it deeply

"No," She furrows her eyebrows, "Of course not. I'm something better.." She throws me a devilish grin "A succubus,"

" Succubus. You are a… demon? So is this your true form or are you actually a dry crackly thousand-year-old witch with papery skin and a hooked nose?"

" That's very funny, Clarissa. But you won't be so… light-hearted soon," She tries to hide a satisfied smile but it still shows anyway.

"Yea? Why not.. So, a succubus huh? That makes you a major slut, Aline,"

She scowls " We live our lives surrounded by beautiful men. They worship us. They treasure our beauty. And that, is more than what you humans can ever hope for,"

"You use your allure and charm to seduce men and in the process, lead them to eternal damnation. You draw energy from your lovers to sustain your beauty. You feed on their soul. They sure _did_ love you to their deaths."

" My beauty is for eternal. Whereas, yours fades. You will eventually grow old. And that's when Jace will realize that I'm better."

Having this talk with her is making me feel so nauseous I have this sudden urge to throw up. " You were doing it on Jace too… Was that why.."

She smirks in delight, "No, Angels are immune to our charm. Only mortals, like your kind are not,"

"You are lying, " My voice sounds strangely stiff.

"Nope," She says, happily leaning against the gate, spreading her palms up to catch the falling snow "He allowed me to feed on him,"

"He wouldn't do such a thing."

"Well, he did. It's part of our agreement as well."

"You can feed on others. Why does it have to be Jace in particular?"

"Because," She hesitates for a second, "Because.. all this while I have lived on Angel's Breathe"

"Valentine was your source?" I half expect her to ignore my questions and walk away with her dark head held high up.

She shakes her head, "No. The ones who are lower in Valentine's celestial hierarchy." She shrugs. So like Valentine to have his own hierarchy. " But when I… spurned Valentine, I no longer have access to.. well,_ it. _I can't live without it. It has become a drug to me. An addiction. Yet, going up to some random celestial being and asking to feed on them is also out of the question, considering the fact that they are not susceptible to my allure. That is how Jace came into the picture. "

"Why are you telling me this? You are helping him clear his name?" I furrow my brows, "And Sebastian too. What was that all about ? "

Her glossy lips curl the slightest into a barely visible devilish smile. "Firstly, it was Jace's idea to fill you in on what he thinks you should know. I volunteered to tutor you. Isn't that awfully sweet of-"

"So when you told me that Jace was in trouble… that was a lie?" I cut her. My throat seems to have gone tight. I can feel the red-hot anger coursing through my veins, surging in ever-increasing waves.

"The ambush was cancelled a while ago. And, he didn't say I couldn't spice up the story a little."

"You have one fucked-up mind, Aline. I'm not going to listen to you talk anymore. I can always ask Jace if I need to know anything and now I'm going back inside-," A shudder works its way down my spine when I realize that something cold, hard and… invisible seems to be blocking my way. I'm out of the protection field. That much I know.

" Patience, young one," Hearing her use that term of endearment on me makes me wonder as to exactly how old she really is. " I'm not quite done with giving you answers. My task will be incomplete otherwise. I borrowed Sebastian because you wouldn't listen to me if it had been _me_. Do you remember your question on why I was helping Jace clear his name?" She doesn't wait for me to answer but instead, continues to talk "Well, I figured that that will be my final parting gift to you." She makes a gesture towards the blue skies. "He's here,"

"Let me inside," I say through gritted teeth, remembering the slight push earlier. "Jace's not going to forgive you if he knows you've gotten me in this situation."

"He doesn't need to know," The succubus replies, tapping her foot gently on the snow with arms crossed. "Besides, from what I heard, you have done it before. It won't be a surprise if he finds out that you have done it again what with your rebellious nature. And, it's not my say to get you inside.. I can't deactivate the protection field,"

"I know you can pull me inside. All you've to do is just extend an arm."

I can see the ArchAngel in my peripheral vision now. He's approaching us/me, moving at a speed I didn't know is possible, even for a celestial being. Another couple of seconds is all I have.

"Aline… please," I press my palms against the cool surface of the glass-like barrier. The flare of anger in me is dying away, leaving nothing behind but plain hopelessness.

She hesitates but eventually raises her arms,"Fuck, Clarissa, I have this planned out so nicely and you have got to spoil it. With you out of the picture, Jace and I -" Her fingers are already wrapped around my wrist but she freezes midway and then does the last thing I expect her to do. She screams-one that slices through the air, thick with desperation and raw with denial.

The last thing I see before a pair of strong arms wrap around my torso and lift me high up into the midnight blue sky is the sharp talons of Valentine's minion- a dark angel slicing across Aline's chest, spraying ichor across the iron-wrought gate.

_Protection fields are never meant for low-ranked demons. She's as susceptible to attacks as you.  
_

"She doesn't know,"I whisper, to no one in particular_.  
_

_Oh, that little succubus knows that. Valentine does not take kindly to betrayals. But she's willing to risk it all for that boy._

"Liar" I 'm in a state of denial. All this while, I have thought Aline to be the selfish, cowardly sort. And now, to know that... that she has forfeited her life to aid Jace_, _I realize that there is more to her than meets the eye.

_Why do mortals always say things they don't really mean?  
_

Luke once told me that there are two types of people. Survivors, the ones who live by the rules of the game and the victors,the ones who play by their own rules.I was confused then and had pointed out accusingly that only survivors can be victors. He said nothing but had instead given me an infuriating yet oddly warm smile that lit his eyes from the inside out. I understand his words now. Aline had chosen the path she wanted to take. She isn't a survivor, but she _is_ a victor.

I lift my head and stare right into a pair of icy-cold sky blue eyes. _Raziel's_.

He meets my gaze and snickers._ Welcome home, Clary._

There's another group of people that Luke has failed to acknowledge. The ones who are victors and yet survive the deadly game of life and death.

All is not lost. Not quite yet.

Because I'm still in the game..

And this is just the beginning..._  
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_**A/N:** I promise things will be much more interesting in the following chapter. I will be filling you in on Jace and Clary's past then. I'm not sure if you enjoyed this chapter, its after all 'Jace-free' and there are a whole lot of information fed to you people at one go.I hope you did nonetheless. =)  
_

_Constructive criticism is more than welcomed and please review. Thanks._

_Love,_

_Emiri_

_P.S. Cheers to a new year!  
_


	11. Chapter 11

**_A/N: Kudos to those who reviewed. They are all very encouraging and I love them (you too, of course!). Because I've deprived you of Jace and Clary-ness in the previous chapter, I'm going to try to make up for it by giving you an extra dose of it today. This chapter is double the length of what I normally write. So, enjoy!_**

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Recap:I lift my head and stare right into a pair of icy-cold sky blue eyes. _Raziel's_.

He meets my gaze and snickers._ Welcome home, Clary.

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_

Ten hours and counting….The question is, how long do I have before I will lose all my memories, again? I pace restlessly in the tiny, bare room Raziel has teleported me into. He had literally disappeared into thin air after that but not before shooting a long hard look at a tiny crack that runs across one corner of the wooden floor.. Probably teleported himself to hell by mistake. I wish.

Mirrors paneled all sides of the walls of the triangle-shaped cell giving me the impression of living in a kaleidoscope , albeit a dark, bleak one. Tired of pacing, I finally sit myself in the center of the room, making sure that I'm nowhere near any of the three mirrors. Because for no reasons whatsoever, I feel inexplicably drawn to it; which clearly spells danger.

In one of my earlier attempts to escape, I had plunged my stele into Raziel's chest and given it a cruel twist hoping the sudden burst of pain would be enough to make him release his hold on me. He didn't. Instead, he looked down at the stele , sticking out in an awkward angle from his muscled chest and then up again to stare straight and hard into my eyes before letting out a distinct scoff. Pulling the glass weapon out, he thrust it back into my fingers "I'm no Vampire, Clarissa. Besides, you were inches away from my heart," The wound closes up immediately.

The startling realization that I'm standing a mere couple of inches away from one of the mirrors -without having the intention to do so- interrupts my thoughts. Drawn to a mirror. Really. Has spending the past couple of days with Aline degraded me into an arrogant moron?

"What-,"A tiny gasp escapes my lips. Ripples are seemingly forming on the surface of the mirror, distorting the image of me. Pulling. Stretching. Reforming.

The faint outline of a door comes into view.

Goosebumps march up the length of my arms and a band tightens around my heart. A warning voice in my head screams at me to step back, to put a two feet distance between myself and the mirror with it's liquid-like surface this very second, if not sooner.

"Might get you out of here," I remind myself, grounding out through my teeth, "Nothing to lose. So , Why not?"

The door swings open at the first brush of my skin against it. A jumble of mixed emotions washes over me as I take my first step and feel my surroundings change from the bleak, sinister colors of night into a glorious burst of the most striking shades of yellow, red, violet and green. They swirl before my eyes, disconcertingly hypnotic. Each of the different hues of colors starts to take on different oddly shaped forms. They seem to writhe and whir , ethereal threads of light and wind, wrapping around them like silken nets, weaving into existence numerous little sprites.

_Welcome, Clary. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome…._

They chant over and over again in a singsong voice.

_We have safeguarded your memories for a long long time… Now, we return it to you.._

These are the last words I hear before falling into the depths of darkness…

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_**His strong arms were wrapped around my waist as he guided me to the rhythm of the slow music that poured into our ears. I was stepping on a dangerous and entirely unfamiliar territory. Dancing had never been my cup of tea and it was one of the things that its importance I could barely grasp. Why do we have to thrust our poor feet into silly, nightmarish high-heels merely to entertain the gentlemen with our grace and elegance and skill?**__**I made a wrong move and unintentionally stepped on his right foot. He made a groan of annoyance.**_

"_**You are hardly a gentleman,"I hissed slightly at him.**_

_**My statement was like a slap to his face. It stung. Badly. But he regained his composure as fast as he had lost it. "And you are a shame to our entire race with your incapability to demonstrate the proper use of your legs. I suggest that you have them cut off," He dropped his arms, and left without throwing another glance at me.**_

_**That was the first time I met him. Jace Wayland. I didn't know who he was then. I didn't know that he would be my next mission. And I didn't know that I would fall in love with him-the sullen-looking angel who was known for his flighty ways with women and who made the suggestion to have both my legs literally chopped off. How ironic…**_

**The image fades and blurs into another one…**

_**I was leaning against the brick walls of a street, watching the little angel children make snowmans-It was that time of the year again- and waiting for my subject to turn up. Valentine had revealed to me his plans of bringing down the Angel by the name of Jace Wayland. I wasn't the least troubled. Payback time. But first off, I had to figure a way to get to him. Valentine used the word 'seduce'. But I prefer the term 'deception'. **_

"_**Funny. You are not stalking me are you?"His voice, heavy with sarcasm yet dripping with wariness snapped me out of my reverie. **_

_**An unbelievably good hypothesis with a 100 percent accuracy, I thought. I turned around to face him , throwing him a slightly mischievous grin.**_

"_**Answer me, " He stepped closer and gripped the edge of my hoodie, boring his eyes into me with an intensity that startled me.**_

_**I wasn't feeling so cocky anymore. "I need a distraction."**_

_**He furrowed his brows as though trying to decipher the meaning of my words, "You don't know what you're saying,"**_

"_**Yes, I do," Keep it up, Clary. This might just work, If the rumors about him are true.**_

"_**No, you don't"**_

"_**Yes, too,"**_

_**A dark laugh escaped his throat."You are too childish and immature for my liking. Find someone else unless you can prove me wrong,"**_

_**I leaned closer to catch the minty smell that seemed to cling onto him and without a word of warning, crushed my lips onto his. I was new to this and definitely inexperienced. A wave of relief washed over me when I felt him respond. I wondered if he could feel the pulse of my pounding heart in my lips. I wondered, above all, if this would work. I broke free of the kiss and threw him what I thought was a seductive smile. **_

"_**Another day, Jace- Angel. Maybe I shall find someone else to satiate me for tonight," **_

_**His eyes widened in surprise. But slowly, I saw understanding in them. What had started out as a simple game of dare had turned into an open challenge. He understood.**_

**A new vision begins to take over, blurring movement and changing colors…**

_**I was at a forest clearing, sitting about halfway up the top of a huge Willow tree and dangling my feet over the branch. It gave me a bird's eye view of everything within a twenty meter radius. He came strolling into sight a couple of minutes later, head held high and looking as angel-like as ever with his choice of white attire. I caught sight of a flutter of midnight blue wings from my peripheral vision. His Shadow was always around, watching out for him.**_

_**Glancing up at me, he smiled. I noticed the dark rings beneath his eyes. "I see you have put your legs to good use. Maybe they are worthy of staying put after all," He wasn't quite so sullen anymore. I'd learn from one of his Shadows that he had a dark and sorrowful past which had in a way, molded him into who he was then and also that there were slight yet distinct changes in his behavior lately. All of his Shadows were glad that he didn't bark at them for unknown reasons anymore.  
**_

"_**Pulled off a late night, Jace Wayland?"I questioned, ignoring his earlier remark. A lot of things seemed to have change between us within the short time span of one month. I was tired of being someone I was not. I was also tired of the little games of deception I was playing. And most importantly, there was a tiny part of me which wanted him for a companion and a friend. Valentine gave me a year.I thought I had all the time I needed. Maybe I could start of slow and easy, befriend him and gain his trust before making the final and deadly move.  
**_

_**He nodded, " Council meeting. "**_

"_**And?" **_

"_**Well, there was a girl. Couldn't resist the temptation," He smirked. With Jace, there was always a girl. The rumors about him were true indeed. But now that I had decided to venture on a different path altogether, I didn't need to be **_**that**_** girl. "I need someone to build up on my confidence again. Your rejection after weeks and weeks of courtship was a blow to my ego.''**_

"_**Point one. One week isn't 'weeks and weeks'. Point two, " I raised two fingers at him, "I was the one who started the stupid game. I felt compelled to end it," How? I told him there was already someone else in my life. And that the kiss was a mistake on my part. **_

"_**Right," He waved an arm at me, "Come on down. It's strenuous to have to talk to you like that. I don't bite.''**_

_**I descended from the tree and planted my feet on the ground next to him. " Let's spar."**_

_**I saw the humorous glint in his eyes. "You sure? I won't let you off easy, even though you're a girl,"**_

"_**Don't, then"**_

_**He won. I was panting furiously by the time it all ended, skin covered with ugly blots of red bruises, starting to take on a purplish blue.**_

"_**Wow, you look bad," He stared at me, trying to pull on a straight face but ended up laughing despite his best efforts.**_

_**I huffed. "You could have gone a little easier on me,"**_

"_**You told me not to,"**_

"_**Of course I had to. I don't want to be looked down upon, especially not you," I blurted the final part out and realized my mistake a second too late. " Especially not someone as arrogant as you " I corrected hastily.**_

_**He leaned closer to brush a lock of my hair which had tumbled onto my face and traced his finger gently along the wound on my forehead."Deep cut here. It's bleeding" His touch sent an oddly warm, tingling sensation through my body and I blinked in confusion, surprised at myself, and surprised by his sudden act of kindness. And above all, I felt fear for the first time in my entire life. Fear of not knowing what was going to come of my own feelings for the one person I was to deceive. I did the only thing I could think of. I swatted his arms away and ran as fast as I could, reliving the cool rush of the wind on my face and hoping that it would wash away my worries.**_

**The scene changes again…**

_**Jace came storming into my room, muttering a string of profanities. Valentine, by force or compulsion had managed to get me a place at the Institute for Angels hailing from royal lineages. Even Made, can be Royals, Valentine had told me once, as long as the blood pumped into the mortal was that of an Angel of high standing. The Students who graduate at the Institute were to be the next rulers of our Brethren. That, was of course not the reason why I was there. I was there to be closer to my subject. I was there to complete my mission….**_

"_**What has turned you on so?" I asked, lifting my gaze from a piece of art I was working on, suddenly curious about his sudden outburst of temper. IT had been a couple of weeks now since my sudden flight at the forest clearing and I suspected he had forgotten it all seeing that he never brought the subject up again. Which was fine by me. " Which girl is it now?" **_

"_**It's not always about a girl, little girl." He turned to face me squarely in the eyes. I thought I felt a slight edge of irritation to his tone, " Women are after all merely playthings. Far too insignificant to worry myself over. The Council **_**is **_**the problem. They want to bind me to-,"**_

_**He did not manage to complete his sentence, stunned by the slap on his cheek. Rage was flowing through me like a jagged wave of lightning. Seeing the look on his face, however caused the anger in me to fade into annoyance. He had been like this from day one. Who was I to think that there was a possibility he would change?**_

" _**Jace, has it ever crossed your mind that you are speaking to a woman?"**_

"_**You're a girl…. Little,at that…"A parade of inscrutable expressions passed his features as he rubbed his cheek gently.**_

"_**Then keep in mind that I've grown up, "I growled lowly, before jerking a frosty glace at the door, encouraging him to take leave. **_

"_**So eager to see the back of me. But not before you answer a question."**_

"_**What is it?" I looked at him warily.**_

"_**Is there really someone else in your life right now?"**_

_**The question took me by surprise. "What if there is?" Take that. Answering a question with a question was the best I could do.**_

_**He shrugged, "Just wanted to know. You are holed up in your room most of the time. And the only person you spend time with is me. Judging by the look of it, you hardly have time for anyone,"**_

_**I quirked an eyebrow, "And so?"**_

"_**You lied? Pretty obvious, isn't it," His voice had taken on a hard edge." I will see you later. Savannah is waiting. She's going to get into one of her hissy fits of rage if I'm late again." I supposed Savannah was his latest 'plaything'. A lump rocketed up my throat. I couldn't understand my feelings.**_

_**He bent over slightly and did the one thing I least expected him to do. He planted a light kiss on my forehead.**_

"_**Friends don't do this. I made it clear that I'm no longer interested in becoming your toy," I whispered, trying to control the slight quiver in my voice. I wanted to scream that it was wrong to speak of another girl and then kiss me the next moment. And I was furious at myself for allowing myself to feel such a strong emotion "Go,please," I was pleading and I didn't care. I needed time to think. And to find a way out of the tangled mess of emotions I have gotten myself into. **_

"_**I can't"**_

"_**Go,"**_

"_**No," He said leaning against the wall, crossing his arms, looking almost like a petulant child. "Not when you're crying,"**_

"_**I'm not," I raised my hand and swiped at my face. "Please, just go," I pointed at the door. "I don't want to see you. Ever. Again."**_

_**My plan was to tell Valentine that I would have to fail him. I wanted to end this cruel game. I wanted to be the deadly Assassin Valentine had molded me into again. And the first step was to get away from Jace Wayland. But, things didn't turn out the way I had planned for it to be.**_

_**I wasn't at my room any longer, but sitting cross-legged and leaning against the walls of the corridor in a secluded corner of the Institute. I have recently learnt from Raziel, the ArchAngel that Valentine did not make me. I was not Made. But I wasn't entirely True Blood either. I was a mixture of both- the child of a True Blood Mother and a Made Father. **_

_**According to Raziel,Valentine wanted me for his own selfish reasons. True Bloods are mutually attracted to True Bloods. Valentine's plan to have me deceive Jace was a fail-proof plan , as dilute as my **_**True Blood**_** blood was. **_

_**The Council was aware of my existence. Most of them felt that I was a threat to our race. Jace was their final hope to defeat Valentine and if I continued to be led on by Valentine, I would put the entire race at risk. But some of them, like Raziel thought that it was possible to make me see the error of my father's ways. **_

"_**Does Jace know?" I had asked Raziel then.**_

_**He shook his head. "Please keep this a secret from him. The Council feels that knowing this will not help Jace in any way"**_

_**The realization that I was being watched broke my train of thought. Glancing up, I caught sight of a tall and lean figure propped up against the opposite wall. Its outline was painfully familiar."Hey," Jace said, smiling. It was a smile that didn't quite reach his tawny eyes, "Are you alright?"**_

"_**I could ask you the same thing," I returned his smile, hoping that the darkness would conceal how forced it was. **_

_**He raked his blonde hair, "I'm not. To be truthful," He took a couple of steps in my direction and sat himself next to me.**_

"_**Jace, listen. I..I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that the other day. I didn't know what got into me.."**_

_**I finished lamely. **_

_**He raised an eyebrow at me. "You don't? Funny though, because I do."**_

"_**Right."**_

" _**There isn't any Savannah in my life. I just wanted to provoke you so that I could see into your eyes and know what you are feeling," He turned to face me, " And I realized that you were greatly troubled by it,"**_

"_**You were testing me?!" My voice was rife with disbelief and laced with anger.**_

"_**Yes." He replied nonchalantly. "I was curious about your feelings for me. I had to know."**_

_**I remained silent, troubled and unsure of the right words to say. Yet, at the same time furious that he had tricked me. Gritting my teeth, I pushed myself up into a standing position and shot him the best smile I could muster, "Well, sorry to disappoint you, but your speculation is wide of the mark,"**_

"_**The problem with you is that you are always lying."**_

"_**Prove it then. On one condition. Do not, kiss me," I shot him a look of defiance.**_

_**He took a step forward, pulled me into his arms and buried his face in my hair. His unique scent of peppermint and sea breeze filled my senses. "I love you,"**_

"_**No, you don't, Mr, Peppermint, " I felt my voice crack-felt the ache in my heart at the rawness of his words-felt the tears flowing out of my eyes, like a mini faucet that wouldn't turn off. "No, you don't," I heard myself repeating. The lump in my throat grew reinforcements, annoyed at having been ignored. "You won't stop, until you have all of me, will you? But I'm… scared. I'm going to be one of them eventually…when you are tired of me. And I want you to stop this immediately,"**_

"_**Clary…" He pulled back and cupped my face gently with his hands. " There hasn't been anyone else in my life for quite some time now. You have made me feel something I didn't know I was capable of feeling or understanding," He planted a kiss on my nose and wiped the tears off my face."And yes, you are right. I won't stop until I have all of you. But above all else, I want your heart the most. Clary-," He paused for a moment, "Give me a chance. I won't fail you," **_

_**Just a couple of months ago, I lived only for Valentine. Just a week ago, I knew the direction my life was headed for. Today, all that had changed… **_

_**Jace Wayland became a part of me that was inseparable….**_

**Memories whirls like a pinwheel in my mind, the image blurring into another..**

_**It wasn't Jace standing before me anymore. It was Raziel.**_

"_**Have you made up your mind, Clarissa?"**_

_**I nodded tersely, " I will aid The Council." Pausing only long enough to register the satisfied look on Raziel's face, I continued, "My current assignment will be halted immediately although, I intend to pretend to continue serving Valentine. You will need all the information I can gather,"**_

"_**That's a wise choice, albeit a very dangerous one…"**_

"_**Listen. Valentine has the ability to compel others. Once he realizes that I have turned sides, he might resort to force… There's a huge possibility that I will be compelled to …attack Jace," I couldn't bring myself to say the word 'kill' "All his questions about you and Jace…I will have to answer them ,"**_

"_**Compulsion, indeed. That's an unheard of ability among Angels. But then again, he's no longer an Angel…" Raziel looked crestfallen for once. "Feeding on the children of the underworld must have given him new powers. So, what are we to do now?"**_

"_**Should it fail,…"I trailed off. "That is if we fail to kill Valentine and I'm captured, I want you to.. to .. memory-vacuum me and then turn me into earthkind until the battle ends… That way, I will be less likely to be used as a tool by Valentine..He can't force me to tell him things I don't know and if I'm dwelling on earth, he cannot find me, can he?" **_

"_**He can track you down if he wants to. But he's less likely to search for you on Earth," Raziel furrowed his brow, "All these.. You are willing to sacrifice it all for Jace Wayland?"**_

"_**Just look at it as….doing something for the greater good,"**_

_**He scoffed. "If you are sure about it." He tapped a long, slender finger behind my left ear and I felt a sudden jolt of electricity run through my body "I've branded you with my mark. When the time is right, you will call upon me, but for the wrong reasons altogether. I will program your mind such that you will think me as much of a threat as Valentine is…You are fine with that? "**_

"_**Is that necessary?"**_

"_**Yes. That will mislead Valentine. He will jump to the conclusion that The Council wants you dead and when you summon me, he will definitely be taken by surprise. Although, I must warn you, a lot of alterations will have to be done to your memories should we…..have to come to that. Your memories will be restored when everything ends."**_

_**I nodded, feeling thoroughly numbed all of a sudden.**_

"_**Clarissa…" He whispered. There was compassion in his voice. "I'm sorry that it has to be like that. If there's any other way, I will not allow this to happen.."**_

**Another image…**

_**I was lying on my bed , curled up into a tight ball .Raziel had finally delivered the news I was expecting for a whole month now .Valentine was becoming suspicious. A hand snaked around my waist, "Are you alright? " Jace's voice, comforting, sweet and gentle floated into my ears.**_

_**I'm not. That was what I was supposed to say but I had nodded instead. He placed a kiss, light as breath on my lips "You know you can always tell me anything.." Creases worked their way onto his forehead.**_

_**Turning around to face him, I carefully traced the outlines of his features, trying to commit them to my memory. I squeezed my eyes shut, determined to not let him see the tears that was forming again. I was tired of always appearing helpless and weak."I'm sorry, Jace.". I whispered. A part of me wanted to tell him everything then but another part-the stronger one felt that it would not do him any good. **_

"_**Clary…"He trailed of, "Sometimes I wish I can read your mind. I know-have this odd feeling that you are hiding a lot from me. And one day, in another couple of years or so, I'm going to figure it all out,"**_

"_**I will learn how to put up a mind barrier, then. I don't want you to intrude into my thoughts. Some of them are far too… personal,''**_

_**He smiled, "I bet a lot of them are about me. And here's something, Mind barriers weaken when you are asleep. The only way you can stop me from doing it is by keeping awake 24/7,"**_

_**I snorted. "Says who?" **_

"_**Says me. C' mon, time to sleep. You can keep the secrets to yourself for another couple of years," He yawned, burrowing farther inside the sheets.**_

"_**You're hogging all the covers, Jace Wayland!,"**_

_**He opened an eye, " I gave you a good enough reason to wrap yourself around me and you're denying yourself the one thing you want the most,"**_

_**I felt a blush creeping into my cheeks before giving him a kick in his sides, " Floor. Now!"**_

"_**You don't really mean that," He eyed the cold hardwood floor meaningfully.**_

"_**I do,"**_

_**Sometime in the night, he found his way into the bed again and held me while I slept. His scent, peppermint and sea breeze enveloped me like an invisible yet oddly comforting blanket -an unvoiced assurance that everything would be alright again.  
**_

_**But I knew with the certainty of my entire being that nothing was going to be fine and that I was going to lose my conceited, arrogant and pig-headed Angel...  
**_

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_**A/N: Each Jace/Clary scene does not take place immediately after one another. Sometimes, a couple of weeks later and sometimes, a couple of months later. Therefore, please understand that a lot of things could have happened to the both of them within that period of time and hence, the changes in their relationship.  
**_

_**You will also notice that Raziel is supposed to return Clary's memories only when the battle ends. But here, it appears that Raziel has the intention to have Clary remember again. That will be explained in the following chapter. Don't worry**_

_**Also, I'm leaving an opening for you. You can now choose to have me bring Clary back to the present or we can otherwise, continue to pump Clary with more of her memories of Jace. Although, I'm warning you, option B will lengthen the story by a fair bit.**_

_**Who can guess the reason to the number of mirrors in the room?  
**_

_**Spare me a little love and review. And if you have any questions, ask away.**_

_**Love,**_

_**Emiri**_


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Let me start of by saying that I value all your reviews tremendously. It has in a way kept me going all this while. A reader reviewed a couple of days back, perhaps slightly upset that I've started a new story without completing Kiss of Winter. I'm not sure if you are reading this, but here's to let you know that Failure of Conscience, my other story is merely a one-shot. So, there won't be any upcoming chapters and I can focus completely on this story. You know how is it that sometimes an idea pops into your head and you just have to have written down immediately, ;)

And to ...(its the name of another reviewer),knowing you smiled the whole day made me smile too, =)

Alright, let's continue reading shall we?

Playlist: Need you Now by Lady Antebellum

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_**Recap: Sometime in the night, he found his way into the bed again and held me while I slept. His scent, peppermint and sea breeze enveloped me like an invisible yet oddly comforting blanket -an unvoiced assurance that everything would be alright again.  
**_

_**But I knew with the certainty of my entire being that nothing was going to be fine and that I was going to lose my conceited, arrogant and pig-headed Angel...

* * *

**_

**Clary**

"Clarissa," A deep voice causes the images to tremble with uncertainty, like ripples on the surface of the water. I try to push out the infuriating voice with all my might, focusing instead on re-creating the pictures my artists-the spirites have painstakingly hand painted just for me."Clarissa. Wake up," My eyes shoot open. Jace shatters into a million pieces, but the smile on his face as he held me to sleep will forever be imprinted in my mind.

"Why?" I croak out as soon as I found my voice. Who I was it wasn't in question despite my head still feeling a little cottony. Deep, dark, century-old voices can only possibly belong to Raziel. Where are we has to be answered too, but it can wait. "Why?" I ask again, running my tongue over my chapped lips.

Raziel avoids both my gaze and question deliberately and instead focuses on the framed painting that hangs neatly on the burgundy wall opposite. Jace's room. I'm in Jace's room. I allow my fingers to run across the silk comforters. And Jace's bed too.

"Such sentimentality is going to be the death of that boy," Raziel says, referring to Jace's Painting. A slight gasp escapes my lips at the same time. "What?" He says, eyes darting to the windows, as though expecting an attack.

"How did you manage to get in here? Jace says.."

"Sometimes, that boy forgets that I'm an ArchAngel," Raziel says simply.

"Raziel,"I start, " You were only supposed to return me my memories when the war comes to a complete end. It hasn't, yet. So why?"

"Clarissa…," He trails off "The war has ended. For us. You are no longer of any use to Valentine"

My throat constricts painfully, "What…what do you mean by for us?"

Raziel turns a hard gaze onto me, "Valentine has emerged the victory of this century-old war. That's what I mean, Clarissa.."

"Jace?"

Raziel heaves a deep sigh. "Rumors are he has succumbed to Sleep,"

"There must be some mistake. That's not possible. I've heard Aline talk about it. Three months. She told me there's another three whole months," I can feel the slight tremble to my voice. Raziel has to be lying. But no…no…that's the entire problem. He isn't.

"This piece of vital information was passed on to the Council by Jace Wayland's Alpha Shadow. That is the truth as much as we would have preferred it not to be," He says firmly but the hint of disappointment in his voice is apparent, " That boy has reportedly drained his powers during his last few years. That would explain his early Sleep,"

I shake my head disbelievingly "That's not true. He hasn't shown any signs of succumbing to Sleep."

"Signs, "He snorts, "What signs? Power off button flashing red? Or heavy eye lids? Angels are neither humans nor automatons, are different. Have your memories not thought you that?"

"My memories… are only of Jace," I say softly.

He nods in understanding, much to my surprise. "Yes, of course. Only those which have stood the test of time are returned to you;those which you treasure so deeply or are of great importance. Clarissa, Jace was not your only acquaintance back when you were an Angel. Do you remember Simon?"

I shake my head."Raziel,I need to find Jace."

He places a hand on my shoulders. "Jace is currently guarded by his Shadowhunters. Even I cannot be sure of his whereabouts. How are you going to find him?"

I push his hand away lightly and look at him, right into his icy blue eyes, "Jace. Is. Still. Around," Without waiting for him to reply, I head for the doors, picking up speed with every passing second.

"Jace!" I shout. He's probably around the corner, waiting for me to jump into his arms and tell him I'm sorry. Sorry for trapping him in this fortress of solitude when I made the decision years ago. Sorry for not trusting him enough. Sorry for everything.

"Where are you?" I can hear the tremble in my voice now, as plain as daylight. But it's alright. He's probably hiding in the shadows, getting ready to jump in on me- a punishment for leaving him in the dark all these years. _I'm sorry._

"Please," I'm begging, like a beggar on the litter-strewn streets. Begging, like my entire life depended on it, "Please. I don't believe it.'' I whisper, feeling exhaustion creeping into me like deadly venom. "I'm tired of this silly game, Jace. Come on out," He will step out and pull me into a tight hug, grinning like a little boy who have won in a game of hide-and-seek. He doesn't.

Do you understand this feeling of mine? This appalling and unwelcome feeling of being violently ripped apart and stripped soulless?

I lay on his bed that night, immersing myself in his scent of sea breeze and peppermint-the scent that I have known my entire life.

But I long for more than just his scent.

I want his smile, the one that doesn't come by often, the one that softens his features and erases the worry creases on his forehead.

I want to gaze intently into that pair of gold eyes, always filled to the brim with emotions so strong it never fails to render me completely speechless.

I want his warmth, as he lay by my side, quietly watching me as I sleep.

But most of all, I want him.

My Angel.

**Jace**

Sebastian gives me a slight nod before slipping out into the darkness of the night, understanding the need to leave me alone with Clary.

I watch the sleeping form, huddled into a tight ball on my massive bed. She's writhing and tossing in her sleep, as though fighting an internal battle with her non-existent demons. Her struggle continues to intensify until a slight sheen of sweat forms on her forehead.

Gingerly, I press a cool palm on her forehead, wipe the tears that have escaped her eyes and lean over to plant a swift kiss on her nose.

"Jace," My name slips out of her mouth. Barely a whisper but audible to my sharp hearing. I tense immediately, preparing to take off if she wakes at the instant. She doesn't. Her breathing becomes even and her posture relaxes. Has she in a way, even in her sub consciousness, felt my presence? Or am I in her dreams?

"Clary," I breathe, "I'm sorry. It's important you know that there's no other way,".

My death to 'Sleep' is a mere rumor I had Sebastian spread to all angelkind-the council, my other Shadows, Valentine's minions. This ruse to trick Valentine into showing himself requires everyone to whole-heartedly believe that I'm as harmless as a rag doll, incapable even of protecting my own body as I Sleep. The Council is already mourning their lost hope and the possibility of losing their seats. Clary.. Has she started to mourn for me to?

Sebastian and I have considered all possibilities. Valentine might-_will_ compel Clary and those who are on my side to tell the truth about my current situation. One slip of the tongue and our plan will fail. Hence, it is necessary for Clary to think that I've succumbed to Sleep as well.

Valentine will make the final move to take over Earth soon. Very soon. And the best thing is that he will let his guards down, so thrilled by the thought of becoming Master of the Universe without engaging himself in a battle. If rumors are true, Valentine has been detected lurking around on the streets, unaccompanied, unprotected..

My gaze falls onto the sleeping form now shuffling indiscreetly in her attempts to snuggle deeper into the covers. Physical-wise, she looks unharmed, whole and sound. But a closer look into her mind reveals otherwise. Her mind barrier is suspiciously weak today. They crumble with ease at the gentlest of prods, providing insight into her innermost soul. In there, I find a broken soul, not broken beyond repair, but broken nonetheless. The fire in her has dimmed to a mere flicker, which is absurd. This is not the Clary I have known during my entire existence. Unbidden, a memory unfolds before my eyes, like a picture in motion.

_Clary was flopped carelessly in the armchair in my room, fascinating over Simon, one of my shadows' ability to procure 'video games' from the human realm._

_"You should have seen the current state-of-art of gaming. It's a pity we don't have it here," She mused. "Simon says he might consider taking me to earth the next day he gets a day off," She looked at me meaningfully," You know, like, a day off?"_

_" Video games," I scoffed, " I can teach you the Art of Seduction. It's a much more interesting past time to indulge in. I'd rather stick to the traditional idea of a game. And don't waste you time fawning over dear Simon. He doesn't like girls like you,"_

_Her expression hardened, " I'm only looking for a friend in him. And what do you mean by girls like me? Too plain-Jane? Or too uninteresting?" She had already catapulted from the chair. It wobbled slightly, probably sensing the anger in her that was on the verge of erupting like a massive volcano._

_"That's not what I mean," My voice sounded irritated._

_She gave me a frozen glare and left, slamming the door shut behind her. The pictures on the wall rattled uneasily._

_It was rather unfortunate to have been invited to the dinner party organized by one of the Royals the same day because the invitation was extended to a certain Clary Fray as well and she had graciously accepted. She both ignored and avoided talking to me throughout the whole time. When we were in the same room, she would slither out. Every time I dispelled a little pride to apologize, she would insert herself into a nearby conversation._

_When time came for dinner, I found out that my place card originally near hers was now mysteriously placed exactly twelve seats away from hers. Her dinner partner was now... Simon. The 'video-gamer', my Shadow._

_It was hard to eaves-drop on their conversation, so far away. But I did not fail to notice that she was sitting far too closely to him and that they were enjoying their conversation. I scowled. The expression of mild affection on Clary's face as she spoke to Simon had annoyed me tremendously._

_Clary was definitely capable of giving one of her cold shoulders when she was enraged. She was also, undoubtedly trying to prove a point. That she could be Simon's type if she wanted to._

_"Jace," The blonde beside me batted her eyelashes, a maneuver that Clary, although sitting at the far end of the table had probably noticed. That would explain why she was attacking her lobster with a grim expression on her face. She was looking exceptionally endearing " So, tell me. What do you like to do?" My dinner partner asked._

_What a quaint little question. "Seducing pretty women," I replied simply._

_"Oh," She playfully swatted my arms, "You are doing a mightily good job at it."_

_I quirked my eyebrow questioningly, "That's intriguing, considering the fact that I haven't done anything of such. Besides, you are not my idea of what pretty really is. I like my women red-haired ,with a little spice and a mind of her own,"_

_That kept her shut for the rest of the night._

_As for Clary, she was talking to me an hour later, claiming that since I had groveled for forgiveness, I would be promptly forgiven._

_All I had said was that Simon seemed pretty charmed by her that night._

_But now and again, I wondered if she had somehow overheard what I have told the Blonde._

"Jace," Sebastian's voice pulls me back to the present. Clary is still in slumber land, caught up between lies and truths, dreams and nightmares.

"What important information have you managed to procure?" I ask, watching the slight heave of her chest as she sleeps on, completely unaware of both our presence. I would have given everything to creep into the bed and hold her tightly in my arms as she sleep tonight.

"Valentine 's location has been identified,"

A lump rises up to my throat" Where?"

"In an old mansion south-east of here. He's giving out a party to celebrate his easy win and probably also to stake his claims. Many of his allies-the underworlders have been invited. Challenges will be issued there. But I daresay none of those demons are brave enough to challenge his authority, unless it's a death wish they have,"

I nod, "The real battle begins. Group everyone but continue to work in secrecy. The Council must not know that I' m not.. don't feel quite Sleepy anymore. I fear that there are some of them who are working for Valentine, feeding him with information merely to keep their positions."

"I will tend to it immediately. But-," Sebastian eyes Clary for a full moment, before uttering a hasty " She's waking. We need to go now,"

" Wait. Give me Another second," I lean down and brush my lips lightly against her forehead before taking off. "I love you," I whisper, "Please, Be strong,"

**Clary**

"I love you," A familiar voice penetrates my hazy awareness. "Please, Be strong," _Jace_. My eyes snap open that very instant, searching for its owner. No tall, lean figure propped up against the walls. No,nothing. Had it been just the remnant of one of my dreams? Or have my starved mind worked that out on its own?

A strong breeze washes over me, causing me to shiver violently. A quick glance at the windows tells me that they are open and yet.. yet how is that possible when the last thing I did before curling up on Jace's bed was making sure that the windows were shut tight? Unless..unless,...oh..

"I will find the strength to wait for you. Please, be safe." I feel my breath catch in my throat. "Please, just be safe,"

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**A/N: Do you like how the story is progressing?Or do you find the pace of the story much too slow for your liking?Comments are greatly appreciated.**

**Love, Emiri**

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** P.S. I'd be lying if I tell you that reviews don't prompt me to write faster**.


	13. Chapter 13

**_Sorry. Slightly overdue update. Blame Ilona Andrews for writing such a captivating series. I couldn't tear my eyes from the book. Alright, alright. I know you are probably more interested in blaming me. Go ahead._**

**_Nevertheless, I absolutely have to thank each and every one of you for your reviews and comments, and for putting up with my not-quite-so-flawless work. I am proud to say that I have very supportive readers.  
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_Recap: I nod, "The real battle begins. Group everyone but continue to work in secrecy. The Council must not know that I...don't feel quite Sleepy anymore. I fear that there are some of them who are working for Valentine, feeding him with information merely to keep their positions."_

_"I will tend to it immediately. But-," Sebastian eyes Clary for a full moment, before uttering a hasty " She's waking. We need to go now,"_

_" Wait. Give me Another second," I lean down and brush my lips lightly against her forehead before taking off. "I love you," I whisper, "Please, Be strong,"_

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**Clary**

"Let's negotiate," I try again for the umpteenth time tonight, putting on a somewhat hopeful expression on my face as Raziel barks silent orders at his army of Angels, getting them in their assigned stations. He turns around to face me.

"No," He says, lines creasing his smooth forehead, adding years to his appearance "Clarissa, I revealed our plan to you tonight not because I encourage your involvement in this matter but because I feel you have a right to know. To have you guard the entrance is the most I can have you do. You will not, that is, I forbid you from entering Valentine's lair and join the battle that is ours to deal with,"

Valentine's little get-together tonight has made headlines among the down-worlders and the Council, being the Council has received news of it and is determined to crash the party.

"This is my battle too. I can fight. I've wielded weapons my entire life," I press on " I do _not_ want to guard the bloody entrance and only watch the bloodbath going on inside," I hiss, tightening my grip on the stele.

_No. _He dismisses me with a casual wave of the hand. I watch as the group splits. About a quarter arranges themselves outside the west entrance of Valentine's mansion. Pulling on their cloaks of glamour, they immediately blend into the old-Victorian brick walls, invisible to the naked eyes.

Another quarter positions themselves at the east entrance, poised and ready for the upcoming battle. Tension hangs thick in the air tonight, so thick that one can almost slice it with a knife. If this is going according to plan, then another group is most likely on the roof, preparing to crash into the lair from above. The surprise element will give them the opportunity to jump behind the down-worlders.

And a couple of us, the young-'uns and I stand guard on the outside. Our only responsibility is to warn those on the inside should Raziel call for back-up.

Another member of the Council, Ithuriel has successfully infiltrated the celebration tonight by taking on the form of a lower class demon. He has to find the power switch and shut down the wards. All the Angels are jerky with anticipation awaiting his much-longed for signal. Yet, Raziel's mind seems to be occupied by something else. The worry on his face is palpable.

Something crosses my mind then, "Who's fighting Valentine?" If Jace has succumbed to Sleep…. No, it isn't likely. But…, "Who?"

"Morphing into a demon for such a long period of time is going to drain Ithuriel off his energy," Raziel finally says. Everyone is aware of that. Even ArchAngels have their limits.

"That doesn't answer my question, "I quirk my eyebrows expectantly.

"I was just getting there," He says, " Ithuriel cannot fight him. I will have to,"

This revelation while expected does shock me to a certain degree, hearing him say it out loud. "The phrophecy-"

"I'm fully aware of the phrophecy," He huffs, " But the future of our entire race is in peril. At least, I will die trying." He angles his head and his icy blue eyes meet my own startled green ones, the realization far too surreal to be true. And yet, it is "Yes, Clarissa, I will walk through this doors and probably never walk out of it, whole and alive again. I'm here to fight till my death,"

I clench my jaws tightly, "This is stupid. The Council is hoping for a victory that is unachievable. Call off the plan,"

"As the member of the Council, I will not defy its orders. I'm not a coward," His voice is as cold as steel but his expression softens a fraction when he speaks again, "I've lived for centuries, Clarissa. I've had my share of life. Do not fret, child," He leans down and embraces me.

"I-,"

I didn't have the chance to complete my sentence because at that exact moment, a single word , sharp and clear echoes in our heads. _Now. _Ithuriel has given us the green light to go barging in. _Valentine is on the fourth floor. Clear the paths in the East and West Wings. Raziel, you will enter through the back entrance. _Ithuriel orders through his mental link. _Watch each other's backs ._Those are Ithuriel's last words before his link is severed. He is out of the game. Gone running back to the Council probably.

Bodies rigid, the army of Angels guarding both the east and west entrance creeps stealthily into the mansion. With the wards down, there are no longer any obstructions in their way. For a moment, Silence is our only companion. That and Fear.

And then suddenly, there is a wild outburst and the air is filled with muffled shrieks and cries. The window behind where I stand guard shatters as a severed arm flies out and lands on the feet of the young Angel beside me. She looks at it distastefully and tears start to well in her pretty blue doe eyes.

I bite down a _suck it up_ that would probably only add to her distress and focus on the perimeter instead, watching out for any possible demon intrusions. But the bloody battle that continues raging on inside proves to be much too big a distraction. I feel my fist clench involuntarily when the third link is severed. Three deaths within the first fifteen minutes. How many more before this all ends?

A sharp cry of pain, raw with denial echoes in my head. The looks on the Angels who stand guard with me tonight mirror mine. We recognize that voice. Raziel's. Raziel is no match for Valentine. That is a known fact. Valentine controls the Spirit of Fire, the strongest of all Spirits and Raziel's is Earth. Fire will eventually consume him, drain him off all his powers. Only the Spirit of Ice can counter Valentine's attacks. But it's wielder is probably lying motionless somewhere….

"I'm going in," My sudden decision has undoubtedly startled those who have heard me.

"B-but," The blue-eyed Angel beside me sputters, "Raziel says we have to..to stay here,"

"Raziel wants to protect us, " My gaze flickers to the fourth floor, "But don't you understand? He's probably neck deep in trouble now and I'm not going to stand here like a coward and watch everyone die. I'm going in," I push myself through the east entrance despite the protests.

The moment I step through the door, a large demon comes lunging at me. It tries to swipe its sharp talons across my chest and I swiftly dodge the attack, rolling underneath it before stabbing my glass stele into its bulging stomach, giving it a cruel twist to end its life.

"Clary, is that you? " A voice calls out to me as I watch my second demon fall face flat onto the ground with a definite thud. The impact forces the stele deeper into its yellow eyeballs. The blue-haired Angel a couple of feet away from me winces.

I turn around to come face to face with a boy-An Angel with dark brown hair and pitch black eyes. He squints at me through his black-rimmed glasses. He looks surprisingly familiar, like I 've seen him before but my brain refuses to recognize the face.

He gasps "It really is you," Without any sort of warning whatsoever; he pulls me into a tight hug, squeezing the air out of my lungs. I wheeze.

"Who are you," I ask, startled

"Simon. I'm Simon." He grins but the grin fades the next moment. The change of expression so quick that it ought to be funny but it isn't. "You really don't rememb-"

"Behind you!" I scream cutting him mid-sentence. He whirls around and water-like vines shoots out from his hands, wrapping around the demon and constricting its air supply until he falls dead to the ground.

Simon's forehead creases, "Why are you here?"He shakes his head, " I need to get you out of here. It's unsafe," He starts to pull me by the arm, heading for the entrance.

"Simon, right.? I-"

"Don't worry. You will be fine with me," He interrupts.

"Simon!" Yelling at him does the trick. He looks at me with a startled expression

"I'm here to fight. And I do _not_ want to be treated like a..a damsel in distress!"

Looking over my shoulders, he raises his arms and brings down another demon. "Okay. I will fight alongside you then," He finally says.

"Thank you," I return as I swerve out of the way of a darting claw and slash upwards, hitting what feels like a leathery skin stretched over a soft belly. Ropes of intestines and blood spills onto the ground, drenching my sneakers with gooey mess. I scowl. Those sneakers are new.

Pushing through the sticky, sickening mess, I make my way to the stairs, running up and up, slashing anything with talons that stand in my way. Behind me, Simon continues to water-choke the rest. I run out of luck at the third floor when I feel sharp talons pierce through my skin at the left ankle, pulling my body down the stairs like a weightless rag doll. I bite down a scream and slash at the demon with my stele, successfully cutting it across its ugly face. A quick glance to my right tells me that Simon is engaged in his own battle with two demons.

It brings its talons down again and curl it around my neck, squeezing it mercilessly. A wave of light-headedness assaults me as I continue to writhe in its grasp, slashing at it blindly.

Water gushes out from my right and wraps around it like a foil, squeezing tighter and tighter by the second until the demon turns a funny shade of blue and its dead body sags onto me. My lungs are by then screaming for air as I try to push it off me.

"Clary!," Simon's voice reaches my ears as he hauls me from beneath and help me to my feet. "Are you alright," His left hand is gloved in black goo "You scared the hell out of me," He says pulling me into another one of his tight embraces .I wince and pull back. Sensing my discomfort, he lets his hands fall to both sides.

"I'm okay, "I wheeze, for the second time tonight, "And thank you,"

Racing up the last of stairs and trying very hard to ignore the sharp pain in my leg, I burst through a dark room and come face to face with Valentine.

"Well, well, look who we have here to join our little battle," Valentine mocks, eyes never leaving the figure cloaked in darkness that stands in the other corner of the room. Involuntarily, my gaze flickers to the other occupant of the room. Raziel lays unconscious on the ground to my left. A soft weak glow of light emanates from his body.

Valentine follows my gaze, "That 's the last of his energy. The light dies and so does he. Poor darling daughter,"

"I'm not your daughter," I spit viciously, " Do not claim me as yours,"

He laughs, the sound like a scrabbling of claws against glass. " Oh, no. Definitely not mine." He points at Raziel, "His,"

"Liar," I don't know who said it. It could have been Simon or me. Or probably the both of us.

"I may be many things. But a Liar, I am not. Ask him. He presented me with an opportunity to have you. He knows I will use you to my own benefits once I become aware of your…lineage. The Council sent one of theirs to spy on me , Clarissa. Because in the end, they know that you will eventually turn to them. How does it feel like, child, to be caught in this game where you are merely a pawn?"

"A Father will not give up his child for reasons as such. Raziel is not my father,"

Valentine's lips curl the slightest, "Let's quit with this. Had you not betrayed me,I will gladly take you under my wings again when your father dies. However….Ah, I gave you a chance, Clarissa, many many years ago and you threw it away," He opens his curled fists and wisps of black smoke emerges, growing thicker and thicker by the second, somewhat fog-like now. And then they solidify to form a dozen of Valentine's minions- black, faceless and armed monsters.

"That will keep you entertained for a little while, Clarissa. As for you," He looks over my shoulders at Simon and flicks his hand. One would have probably thought that as a simple act of dismissal but with Valentine, things are never that simple.

Fire escapes his arms to writhe around Simon and the next moment he's gone. I gasp. "What did you do to him?"

"Gave him a temporary escape from this brutish battle," is Valentine's brief answer.

The next thing I know is that the faceless demons have come lunging at me, lips curled upwards to reveal a row of nasty, pointed teeth. I swipe at them with my stele and the sharp glass edges tears through the insubstantial body, like cut water. I watch in dismay as their black bodies distort and then still again. Steles don't work. So, what now. I rake my brain for another solution.

Something grabs me at the waist from behind and yanks me backward. I mechanically slam an elbow back at it, and feel it come into contact with air. This attacker of mine has reflexes so fast that I'm finding it exceptionally hard to aim and hit. It pulls me around a corner and pins me with his lean, hot weight, pining my arms to my sides. Not an it. But an attacker, nonetheless. I would have headbutt him if only he isn't quite so tall and so I knee him, hard.

"Do you attack everything you see? ," He grunts.

A light breeze blows in gently from one of the crashed windowpanes bringing with it a scene so familiar- a touch of seabreeze and a taste of peppermint- suddenly leaving me weak in the knees. I lift my head and find the pair of tawny eyes I've been erratically searching for.

_Jace_

His features soften as he pulls me into his arms. "I don't care if you've forgiven me," Cupping my face in his large yet strangely gentle warm hands, he leans down to kiss me. It isn't sweet and slow but lustful ,needy, and filled with such intensity and passion that I nearly forget to breath.

My fingers flex with the sudden desire to bury themselves in the mess of blonde hair which have miraculously grown much longer. I lean into him, relishing the feel of his hard, muscled chest against my own gentler curves. And then I pull apart, suddenly startled by our inappropriate act. We are after all in the middle of a blood bath.

Then just as suddenly, Jace is a couple of feet away from me. He throws a knife at me and I catch it neatly at the hilt. "Coated with iron. Use it to get rid of the dark feys," He motions at the faceless demons, trying desperately to get to me yet unable to because of the pool of light that surrounds my feet- Light that the few working streetlamps outside spill through the broken windows. Of course. Dark feys. Faeries. Unseelie. They have an aversion to iron and light.

Yet, I'm more troubled by the sudden and startling change in Jace's expression. All lightness is gone, only to be replaced by grimness. Has there been a misinterpretation? When I pulled back, had he thought that… Oh, god.

Still relishing the protection that the tiny pool of light at my feet could offer me, I watch in dismay as Jace takes his place as Valentine's opponent, pushing a pale-faced Sebastian who is now doubled over with pain, to the side.

The Dark Feys push themselves into my sight, encircling the edges of the light. I look at them and they look at me. Five minutes later, they have disintegrated into nothingness. I am competent with knifes.

Streaks of blinding red light replace the dark mist. I watch as Jace takes a step backwards gingerly and ices the fiery wrath of a ball that has been delivered by Valentine. It freezes over completely and shatters into a hundred tiny pieces of glass-like pieces. The temperature of the room drops a notch. But Valentine is not one to give in so easily. He mutters an incantation under his breath and the next moment later, he is ablaze with fire, like a human torch. Yet, something in the depths of his eyes and the sharp red talons that sprouts from his fingers tell me that he is far from being human.

A sudden chill runs down my spine. I recognize this abomination of a thing that was once ArchAngel. The Dark Touch. He has summoned the Monster in him to take over and to grant him immense power. And this, this Monster that stands before me is a quiet killing machine, capable of destroying and impossible to kill. Lucifer. Valentine has granted Lucifer the permission to use him as a vessel.

Jace catches my widened eyes and mouths a grim "It will be alright," at me. It isn't and it will not be alright. Lucifer is a fallen angel gone dark and one of his hidden talents is the ability to drain his opponents of their power and rob them off their willpower. Jace is as good as dead in his current predicament. But… there might still be a sliver of hope.

My eyes find Raziel lying in the corner and I kneel beside him, "Tell me. When I was an Angel, what spirit did I control?"

_Ice. Ice. Please say Ice. _"Ice," he croaks, breathes coming out ragged and short. A wave of relief washes over me.

"The blood that flows through my veins in this human form, can it still control the spirit of Ice?" I ask again, "Or it is lost?"

He exhales, icy blue eyes suddenly fixed onto mine angrily as realization flashes in the depths of those hypnotic eyes " You will not.. will not do anything …of such. I've kept you…you safe..all this while…You..My only daugh-"

I clamp his mouth shut with my hand, having decided that I've had enough. The look on his face has confirmed my suspicions. I can still control the Spirit of Ice. "Thank you for your information," Standing upright, I give him one last glare, " I have no Father. Keep that in mind,"

And then I'm charging at Lucifer. A wielder of the Spirit of Ice who freely and willingly sacrifices herself to the massive, raging Inferno is the only way to end this all. My powers will not be stolen by Lucifer. They are _offered_ to him and as he takes it, the Ice in me drowns out the Fire in him. But the Fire in him will also kill me in the process.

Fire engulfs me and I feel scalding air rush into my lungs. Lucifer lets out a long howl and takes me down with him. The air around is crackles with power as Fire and Ice clashes like angered warriors of warring Contingents. Arching in white-hot agony, I grit my teeth, knowing perhaps hoping that the pain will come to an end. It doesn't. My skin blisters, my blood boils and the Pain continues with its horrific torture. A blonde head comes into view. Tawny eyes penetrate my hazy awareness, filling me with a sense of relief and wonder. Jace is still alive.

The fire in me dies. But it has taken with it my strength and new found hope to stay alive. I feel so sleepy all of a sudden. A deep growl jolts a part of me awake. Jace.

"I forbid you from dying," He says through clenched teeth as shakes my charred shoulders gently. I wince from the pain.

"Stop me," I croak. Funny how Raziel was croaking and now I am too.

Jace does not laugh at my attempt to lighten the situation. He look grimmer if that is even possible,"Sebastian has gone to the Council for help. The med mages are advanced. They will find a way to fix you and all you have to do for now is to stay awake. Don't sleep. Clary. Do you hear me? Don't you dare sleep " He's rambling. I sense the frustration and helplessness in his voice. He knows he is incapable of healing magic wounds. Only mages can. He would have carried me to the Council if not for the multiple holes in his Wings. Large gaping holes that have immobilized him. He' probably is as battered as I am.

"You've had it bad, Clary. Much worse than I am,"

"Oh…" I breath.I didn't realize I 've spoken the last bit. There's more I want to say, like bury me next to my Mother, whoever she is, but a hundred miles away from Raziel, if he doesn't make it too because I will claw his icy blue eyes out the next time I see him. But there's a nagging feeling at the back of my mind that tells me that something important hasn't been told . "Jace, " I try to lift my battered arms to touch his beautiful yet troubled face but they won't move an inch.

"Shh..You need to keep your strength. We will talk again after you have healed." He throws a quick glance at the skies outside, "Why the hell is Sebastian taking so long?" He mutters, his expression something along frantic.

"Jace, "I start again. This is important, "I'm.. sorry.. I'm sorry..you had to..w-watch me reincarnate over…the past decades. I'm sorry… you…have to do it…again..now," I wheeze. "I'm…sorry.. you will..be lonely again…But, you…will…probably find another..pretty little thing ..to keep you company" I try to chuckle but it comes out all wrong. Like a choked chicken.

Jace looks at me with an unfathomable expression on his face, " Sorry? You tell me you are sorry and then you plan to leave the next moment when I lift my eyes of you. You are playing unfair." He pause for a moment to lean down, burying his head in my neck. "Your apology is_ not_ duly noted. I need you. Don't go," My neck feels damp. Not with blood. That much I know.

"I'm..sorry," My body is giving in to the exhaustion. "Jace.. for once in my life…I feel like..I've done something..worthwhile… Let me be…proud of myself.." My eyelids feel incredibly heavy all of a sudden, like they weight a whole ton.

"You are stupid . Why did you have to do that? You needn't need to. I would have him under control eventually," Jace's voice seem muffled and small and angry.

_Would have him under control eventually. _That is out of the question. Jace knows that better than I do. " You and…your arrogance," My lips hurt far too much to smile. But I smile inside. "I'm sleepy, Jace. Very very sleepy," Darkness tugs at me, urging me to go with it.

Jace's body tenses. " Don't, Clary. Don't give in. Just another couple minutes .Please_. Please_,"

"Hold me,"

He abides without another word. " I like..it when..you…hold me to…sleep," His familiar scent and warmth envelopes me as darkness smiles triumphantly.

The last thing I feel is his tensed muscles as realization sinks into his head. And everything else is bleak and dark and painless.

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_**A/N: Valentine died when Lucifer was destroyed. The fates of both Clary and Raziel remain unknown.**_ _**Don't kill me****, please**_.

_**Slightly gory chapter perhaps**_. _**Not much fluff**_. _**But I sincerely hope that you still liked and enjoyed it**_._** Going at a faster pace already. Did you notice that?**_ _**Another three or four chapters and Kiss of Winter will come to an end.**_

_**I'm looking forward to any comments and/or reviews from you. Constructive criticism are also greatly appreciated. And if there's anything that bothers you or leaves you confused, please let me know. I will answer all questions to the best of my ability.**_

_**Sweet dreams, honey. The bed looks exceptionally comfy even after writing moderately long chapters.  
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_**Love,Emiri**_


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